Sixteen

Has it really only been two weeks?!
It feels like it's been a MONTH!

I am still going well all things considered.
I did find myself becoming a little lazy this weekend, but I don't feel bad about it.
At work we are in overdrive for the spring and summer season so I am working 6 days a week which becomes about 50-60 hours a week.
Hooray overtime and hooray for something to keep me busy!
I don't mind it at all and have totally embraced the pandemonium and turned it into project motivation.
When I first started  this job back in August of '09, I really came in at the end of the busy season. I worked maybe 2-3 weekends, but didn't mind them at all because of the previous job I had come from. The cash was definitely needed!
All my co-workers warned me of the Spring/Summer crazy times, so I was a little apprehensive when our boss announced that we were going to have to give up some of our weekend time.
However, the timing couldn't have been any more perfect for me.
It started the first weekend John was gone, and I've been so busy that I haven't had a chance to even reflect back. Which makes the phenomenon of only two weeks passing, surprising to me!

So what do I do to kill the time...
Well, when I am not facebook stalking, I am cleaning like an OCD person.
I've found that I have an alternative personality and she comes out when John is gone.
When he has gone to classes, the field, etc. in the past, he's come home to a rearranged living room, and maybe some new window treatments...
Well, I don't want to do that EVERY month, so I have found that cleaning has become my new obsession.

I also have started working out more and lately that's all I can think about.
When I am not working in the yard, walking the dog, or headed to the gym, that's ALL I can think about.
It's so weird from how I used to be.
When I quit playing soccer in 2005, I NEVER worked out.
When I quit soccer, I literally quit physical activity period.
I was kinda boycotting it.
I had done it so long and so much that I LOATHED it, so I never did it.
Luckily for me not being physically active didn't effect my weight until way after college.
But now it's almost become a bit of an obsession.
When I was getting ready to go to bed this last Friday I put together my gym bag for the next day so I could go work out after work on Saturday.
When I got to work and realized I had forgotten my gym bag, you would have thought I'd forgotten my child in the car.
I freaked out...My whole day's plan was thrown off balance because I didn't have my gym bag....
Kinda sad, but I am being honest!
I still have about 20 pounds I want to lose and I'm not going to lose it doing spin 2-3 times a week, I need to be more proactive, so I am going to start letting my obsession take over some.
I am going to go spy on a Body Pump class hopefully tomorrow to see how that class is run.
I am hoping it will be something that I can latch onto, like spin, that I will not only enjoy, but I will enjoy the results it gives me.

So I have been hearing from John quite a bit.
More often than I am used to, so it's kinda thrown me off.
Last deployment there were some months where I'd hear from him 1-2 times total!
So getting those 0-00-000-0000 calls from him 1-2 times a week sometimes makes me think something is wrong!

I also am getting emails from him which is amazing.
He HATES writing and he is kinda intimidated by emailing.
He didn't grow up, like a lot of us, with a computer in his home.
During college he always used the computer labs for homework or would use mine during open dorms.
He never had his own computer until last deployment when he bought a real nice one so he could download music for his iPod and has slowly educated himself on it over time.
Last deployment I think I may have gotten just a handful of emails from him during those 15 months and even those were just a couple sentences long. He HATES writing plus he didn't have a lot of time to write anything interesting and there were a lot of things he wasN'T ALLOWED to write about anyway, so his words were sparse to say the least, so we mostly communicated via phone.

The last email I got was yesterday.
He was SO excited because he is now at his permanent duty station in Iraq, one of his best friends is his roommate, they have AC, they have internet, and the cafeteria has tons of different varieties of food. :) And apparently it's a good variety of GOOD food. :)
I think I have mentioned before that he was not looking forward to this deployment because of their mission, but I think these aspects have swayed his thinking some.
I also think that having Stoffel there as his roommate will keep him sane and motivated.

Speaking of motivated, in one of J's last phone calls he talked to me about enrolling in some online college classes while over there.
He had already submitted the paperwork to his commander and was just waiting for the "go-ahead" to enroll. This is so awesome, because I know this is something that would be such a huge win for him if he could finish school.

Well John and I found out right before he left that we are going to be getting another little niece or nephew!! Danny and Karen called us not long before John left to let us know the news, but we weren't allowed to tell anyone. It was SO HARD!
I'm so happy for them though.
Audrey needs a little rock thrown into her world, or she'll end up spoiled like how I was!!
As of when they told us, she's due in November, so that puts Audrey and new baby almost 5 years apart...Drew and I were close to six, so they were cutting it close! ;)
I planned on going home for the holidays/my birthday anyways, so this will just be icing on the cake if the new baby is there then! I'm so excited!
Nieces and nephews are the greatest!

Hurley is starting to get used to the fact that dad is not home.
He still lays in our entry way if I am up and around, but he'll go to bed and stay now when I go, so that's progress!

The last two weeks I have been in a horrible battle with our lawn mower.
Last weekend I sat out front for half an hour pulling that stinkin cord and it would not give me anything.
Before you pepper me with comments of aide,:
-YES, it had gas.
-YES, I primed it.
-YES, I was holding the little lever thing down onto the handle
-NO, there is no choke lever, or whatever it's called....

Anywho, my neighbor, who had to be completely entertained by me trying for half an hour, came over and let me borrow her mower. I got the front and back done, so it was all good. Steve came over later and of course on his first try he got it to start. He gave me a couple pointers for next time, and I even finally started it on my own, so he left with me feeling pretty confident.
Well, we've been having HUGE pollen issues here in NC, so of course after my gold star moment, I spent that next week being so sick. I have never had allergies to anything before, so this was a first for me and I was miserable.
When I had mowed I also go SO SORE from it! The yards hadn't been mowed in at least two weeks or so, so the grass wasn't really tall, but it was crazy thick.
My butt muscles never hurt so bad!! I was pretty much doing lunges through my yards with a mower that was NOT self propelled. It was an awesome workout, but getting sick afterwards sucked!
Well this last weekend I was determined to not let it get that thick again, so armed with a mask and motivation I pulled the mower out again to mow....NOTHING.
I tried every trick Steve showed me and I couldn't get anything from it. I finally text Stephanie and she sends him over. Of course, AGAIN, on his first try he gets it to start.
I try a couple times and STILL can't get it to start for me.
He tried it again and it started giving HIM issues, so I am finally convinced it's the mower AND my lack of arm strength combined that is the problem.
He finally got it started where I could at least go ahead and mow.
I am about half way through my yard and it just putters to a stop.
Sigh.
I quit.
I think this time it might be kinda low on gas, so I am going to fill it up this week and try that.
If that doesn't help, then I think I am going to try to sell it and buy a new one that is easier for me to use.
The bummer is the mower isn't old!! We bought it brand new when we first moved our here, so maybe two years old??
I added another gold star for myself this week for more yard work. Since I couldn't get the mower to go my way, I went ahead and remulched the front flower beds.
My iris's are blooming and I am pumped! I planted them last fall and they finally shot up a couple weeks ago.
Awesomeness.
The bummer part of it is that the kids next door to us trampled through them last week and broke off one of the blooms thick stem. I was SO mad.
I don't know what to do about these neighbor kids.
I find so much junk food trash in my yard, and I swear it is not mine!
Tootsie pops, air head wrappers, popsicle sticks and wrappers.
I also have had one of the those motorized kid cars left in my driveway (it was a Barbie hummer, I almost stole it!!), scooters, footballs, bikes.....you name it, it's been in my yard or driveway.
IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!
I'm so glad these kids are playing outside.
Don't get me wrong.
But seriously?
Stay off my stuff!!!
They also have some little yappy dog they let loose out front WITHOUT a leash.
Someday something really bad is going to happen, I swear.
Some neighbor is going to run over a bike/kid.
One of our dog's is going to go after their dog since it's always loose....
Ugh...
I'm just WAITING for something to go down....

Anyways,  I think that is all for now.
Can't really think of anything else going on right now!!

Happy #2 Anniversary Jef & Laurie!!!

Day #4

Well, he's gone.

Boo!

Despite more drama on the 2nd, from John's soldier I mentioned in a previous post, the deployment send off went off without a hitch and baby was born in the process!
Friday was spent with John's soldier and also getting last minute stuff together.
I dropped John off at his company area a little after 8am on Saturday, the 3rd, where he had to drop off his "luggage" and check his soldiers out of the barracks, etc.
From there I actually went to the Hendrixson's apartment to pick up Steve's mom and drop her off at Womack Army Hospital on post.
Steve and John are both SGT's in the 108th and Steven's wife, Stephanie was 1 week overdue that Friday with their first baby.
Since no one was really sure when the baby would come and whether Steve would have deployed then or not, his mom came down from Jersey to help.
After I dropped her off I went home and in all my nervousness, went on a cleaning spree through the entire house cleaning and organizing the most random things.
Green Ramp good-byes were at 2pm so I had to keep myself busy!
Little before 2pm I headed to Pope AFB/Green Ramp to spend the next couple hours saying last goodbyes and for the deployment ceremonies.

As I have stated before, this experience at Green Ramp sending him AWAY, was a first for me. Last deployment he left the same weekend I graduated college, so I wasn't there then. I was at Green Ramp when he came home this last deployment, but those were much happier thoughts than the ones happening there at that time to say the least.
I was actually/surprisingly calm and collected for the majority of it.
John and I had both been ignoring all the mushiness & emotion for weeks now, so at times we just sat there in silence, taking it all in.
Mom's/wives were crying.
Dad's were shaking their soldiers hands and giving them hugs.
Little kids/babies were everywhere.
People even brought their dogs...RANDOM!
Not all of it was solemn.
There was plenty of laughter and and children screaming as their dads/moms were chasing them around for the last time.
Pretty crazy to watch.

I didn't really get emotional until the ceremonies started and they were all in formation.
So many faces.
So many friends.
So many fun memories.
More to come for sure, but a dark cloud definitely came over as they stood at attention in front of us.

After the ceremonies we got one final hour-ish to say our final goodbyes.
Before John came back up to me I remained in my seat that I had during the ceremonies.
I looked over and one of John's female soldiers was just a couple seats down from me. She's not deploying because of a injury last deployment.
She waved and asked how I was doing.
I had my sunglasses on, disguising my watery eyes during that stinkin' ceremony.
I just smiled and said I was good.
She laughed and was like, "Yeah, you've been there done this before huh? You're an expert."
I just smiled and nodded.
Inside I was like, yeah, right.
I almost felt sick inside when she said that.
I am by no means an expert and am not sure I want to aspire to be one in this area!

Anyways, John and I hung out for about another hour and then he started having to run around and find random soldiers for random stuff before boarding the plane. I got tired of following him around like a lost puppy, so we figured it was time to have me go ahead and go.
Gave him a big hug and of course started crying a bit again.
John told me that he likes it when I cry.
Seriously? Cause I cry all the time about the most random things and he doesn't look like he's having a great time then!

We said our words, and that was that, and I just had to turn and walk away.

I got to my car and lost it.
I hated being there in that car alone.
It felt so dark in there.
I kinda lost control for a second and just started gasping and hyperventilating.
Finally talked myself into control and started the drive home telling myself out loud, "You are strong. You can do this."
Kinda pathetic I know, but it worked!!

By the  time I got home it was about a quarter to five and I honestly felt fine.
Their flight was supposed to take off a little after five so I decided that my "deployment routine" needed to start right then and now... so I started prepping a meal for myself and took an awesome long hot shower. LOL.
I watched Dexter for HOURS that night making a couple of random phone calls in between episodes.
Baby Luke had not yet made his appearance into this world, so I just hung out with my kiddos at the house.
That night when I went to bed I got the text message from Steph that she was going in for a C-section that night/morning. Exciting!
By the time I woke up Easter morning I had some picture messages on my phone of the little guy-Lucas Steven.
SUCH a cutie.

Went to church that morning by myself.
Very humbling, esp since it was Easter.
I couldn't sit still for anything.
My mind was all over the place and I couldn't concentrate anything that was going on.
Random times my eyes would tear up for no reason...

Sigh.
I remember all these feelings from last time. Ugh.
Went to Walmart afterwards. Got all my items, got in line, put my stuff up on the counter, and realized I didn't have my wallet.
Suck.
Ran back home, got the wallet, and finally got my stuff...

Went to Womack to see baby Luke, then made it back home to figure out what to do with myself for the rest of the evening.
I finished laundry, some of which was John's stuff.
I never put his clothes away, so I didn't know what to do with his stuff!
They are still in a neat pile on his dresser until I have time to go through his drawers and figure out where they go!

I was absolutely dying to go back to work on Monday.
I couldn't wait to get something to dive my brain into.

Hurley isn't adjusting very well.
When John is home, we'll tell him to "go to bed" and he'll beeline to his bed and cuddle into a little cute ball.
Well, this week he'll go to bed when I tell him to, but when I get into bed and turn out the light, he'll get out of bed and go into our living room. He'll sit in the entry way of the house facing the front door. I think he's thinking John's having some late nights and is going to be coming home late so he's waiting for him.... :(
Even when I am in the living room watching TV or something he'll lay down in the entry way by the door and just watch the door.
It's so sad, it breaks my heart.
I don't know if I can handle having REAL kids....sigh....
The cats are cool so far.
Bella could honestly care less anyways, and Jax will cuddle with anyone that will give him the time of day. So, so far, they are adjusting well.

I've gone back to spin full time and have hit it hard.
I've upped my warm up run to just shy of two miles in about 20 minutes.
Pretty proud.
On Monday I got a lot of aggression out in spin and I am STILL sore today from it....
IT's worth it though, right?! :)

Talked to John on Tuesday. He was in Kuwait.
So far so good.
Phone cut out a couple times but overall it was good.

It's hard to remember how all this works....