Optimism at it's finest.....

New Years time and a slightly new me....
Bucket lists and weight loss goals seemed to fill my head throughout the 2010 year.
Well, and my husband was deployed again. A blessing and a curse.

I can't help but reiminise about this time last year when I had just started going to the gym and beginning my journey to transformation.
I remember not only looking and posting my measurements from the personal trainer, but just staring at them wondering how I was goingto do this.
Whatever the plan was, I needed to make sure that not only the weight got off, but stayed off.
I wanted to do it so bad. I NEEDED too. I was never so miserable in my life and for absolutely no reason at all. Something had to change and this was it.

Well, I am proud to say that here we are a year later and I'm 30 pounds lighter.
At the beginning of this journey my goal was to get to back to my wedding weight which was 120-125.
Half way through I convinced when I hit a hard plateau I told myself that I am older now and that maybe that goal was unrealistic and that I should be happy with what I had accomplished.
I am so glad I didn't give up and I'm still not ready to give up.
I have a solid 6-12 pounds to go and I can't wait to lose it.
I don't have my complete plan put together yet, but all I know is I can do it and it brings a smile to my face contimplating the challenge.

John has been deployed 9 months at the beginning of the new year. There are days where I swear it seemed it was the longest time ever, and then there are times where it seems to have flown by. I don't know if he can say the same, but this has been the easiest deployment so far....granted this is only my second, but still.
Having John home for mid tour reminded me of what an awesome time I have to look forward to when he is home.
We have both changed  in mulitple ways, but I can't wait til he gets home and we get to figure it all out together again. Remember when you first got married and moved into your new place and got to find out all those quirks and kinks that you never really knew about that person til you were married?? Yeah,  we get to do that on average every other year. Some people might not enjoy it as much as I do. But with time we ALL change and this reintigration time where we learn each other and our habits all over again, is fun for me.
This time it will be a bit of a challenge though. I have some new quirks and kinks, but most importantly I developed a new lifestyle. The ultimate challenge will be to stick to my new lifestyle once he's home!

So John re-enlisted and is slightly changing his MOS. He will return from Iraq and leave three months later for K9 school in Texas. With his re-up he not only got to go K9 like he was wanting but most likely we will be staying at Bragg for a couple more years.
Opposed to this time a while ago, I was thrilled about this.
I have a job that I wouldn't trade for anything.
I am finally LIVING here. I finally have come to a place where I am happy and so blessed to be without want for really anything.
I know John's new advance in his career will bring on it's new challenges, but I am open to them and feel like through my experiences so far, I can handle them.

So, here I am half an hour from the new year and I don't have any cool resolutions or anything.
But for once since I moved here I feel happy and extremely optimistic. Can't ask for more than that. :)

Marriage...it's what brings us together!

Cliche I know, but this has really been bothering me lately.
It seems recently that the concept/practice of marriage is losing it's meaning.
It's losing it's happiness and it's necessity to bring man in general a bounty of happiness and completeness.

Between articles showing that my generation doesn't view marriage as important-becoming obsolete.....
Or hearing of more people that consider marriage a tax break or "just paperwork"......
Or those who abuse their role in their marriage to feed their insecurities at the expense of others...
I could go on, but all this just feeds fuel to my fire....

Yesterday the dreaded "horrible" news arose yet again, some more celebrity couples are breaking up.
This time, as sad as this sounds, these highlighted couples made me sad in their separation...

1. Michael C. Hall & Jennifer Carpenter (was kind of a weird marriage to begin with, but getting a divorce after surviving cancer just sucks, plus they work together on "Dexter"..........they better keep the show going regardless!)

2. GQ Babe of the Year, Scarlett Johannson, and Sexiest Man Alive, Ryan Reynolds...(may their current titles prove what a studly couple they would have been if still together!).

One of the reasons couple #2 gave for their split is that they were so involved in their work that they never saw each other and they drifted apart. Um, hello? I am sorry, but when you are a military wife with a deployed spouse and anyone talks to you about being apart from their spouse......believe you me, I'm not listening.....or sympathizing for that matter.

Anyways, here I am the day after this dreaded "horrible" news on my way to work listening to the radio that I listen to every morning.
Both of the DJ's on this station have been married multiple times and while the male is yet again, remarried for the second time, the other, the female, has not remarried after divorce number two.
The female DJ made this comment today on their morning show while discussing these celebrity splits, "You know, honestly, what's the point anyways? What is so great about getting married versus dating that we are all missing? Maybe Brad and Angelina have it right, maybe we aren't meant to complicate things by paper or by formalities. You know what? Don't get married, if your boat floats by going to the theater every friday night for date night then going home and sleeping together afterwards, then I say more power to you."

This statement blew me away.
I sat there in awe at the stop light that there really are people out there that have such a negative opinion about marriage. I found myself for the first time EVER wanting to call in to the radio and tell them they are wrong. They made it just sound so cheap to me....

I don't know about the rest of you married folk, but I think marriage is fun!
The fact that I can be at whatever my worst place is for my life the one thing I DON'T worry about, is if John will still be there or not.
Maybe that's why the military life works for me so well. I can go through a year long deployment, see my husband two weeks out of the year, and not worry for a single moment if John is cheating on me, or spending money unwisely, or just basically doing things that we don't "believe" in.
Even more lucky for me, this mindset is mutual.

We have a deployment understanding when it comes to our communication.
We talk once-ish a week, usually Saturdays, unless there is some type of emergency prompting more otherwise. John's higher ups have pulled him aside asking him if we are having marital problems because we don't talk EVERY single day like some other families.
Laughable, I know. Esp to those that KNOW us.
But hey, some people work in different ways, so it's fine!!

Keep in mind that John and I started dating in high school, so combining the dating and marriage years, we've been together almost eight years. Out of that eight years we've been apart for at least three years of that.
One year our freshman year of college when I went to OK and he went to UT.
The other's are due to deployments. Lord knows, it's been more than three years cause of military schools and being in the field, but we won't count those....
Through all those trying times, we developed and understanding for how we communicate. It's what works for us and it may not work for everyone but at least we put forth the EFFORT to find something to make it work.
I think that's what a lot of people lack. The work that goes into the marriage is hard. It's tedious, and it's not meant to be easy. Otherwise divorce wouldn't be such a viable option for many.

Another statement I've heard tossed around so much lately is that marriage is just "paperwork."
I am sorry to burst your obviously small world bubble, but it's not.
If you want to get married for the money or the benefits then you don't know what marriage is at all.
Secondly, you don't deserve it.
It's to precious of a thing to be boiled down to signing on the dotted line.
To me it's no different than having children.
Children are just tax write off's, right?
They are just birth certificates....??
No, they are a blessing.
A treasure. Something so fragile and precious you should want to spend every waking moment of your day trying to figure out how to keep it protected and pure.
Why isn't marriage given that same opportunity?!?

Not to shoot my own foot here, but the same could be said about weddings themselves.
Obviously with weddings you are dealing with a sense of tradition, but I think that the purpose for weddings are lost....
Weddings are about the ceremony, not about how many are in attendance, or what kind of cake, or how much the dress cost, where the location is, or (I can't believe I am saying this) how much money you "make".....It's about the fundamental belief system that standing up in front of a group of people professing your commitment before them and God (if you go that route).
I remember meeting with Pastor Ed, the pastor that "married" us, prior to our wedding and he told me something that has stuck with me, "I always believed that if you get married and it ends up not working out...you don't divide things between the two of you, you give the gifts back to the people that bestowed them to you. They aren't yours because you worked for them, they are yours because people supported you two as a couple."
So true!

Now here's a instance where things get a little "hairy."
I've had my minds eye opened so largely lately to the marriages that are out of desperation or convenience.
Like those women that marry because everyone else is doing it, this guy is good enough for me, let's do it!
Or those men that don't want to be a man whore forever, so might as well jump onto one that will not only do what they want, but consider it their "duty" to submit to their husbands and their wishes.
Man, I struggle with these people!
I'm not going to get into the whole submission thing, that's not what this is about.
This is about being PARTNERS.
About being best FRIENDS.
About working together.....
I've never been one for settling for anything, so when I see people in a situation where I think they are settling, I just can't comprehend their mindset or reasoning.
I've tried....I can't do it.
"If it doesn't make sense it's typically not true," in the wise words of Judge Judy. :)
This is one of those things that just doesn't makes sense.

Why not just stay single looking for that "right" person, rather than marry everyone under the moon, fingers crossed that they are "the one?"
Sure would save a lot of heartache and court time. ;)

My partnership with John is far from perfect.
We definitely have our moments.
Because of the military we seem to tend towards more serious in depth moments.
Don't sweat the small stuff. No sugar coating....no beating around the bush...say it how you wish.

However, the one thing that we both mutually respect no matter what, is our marriage.
When push comes to shove, that is the one thing that when everything is boiled down to the bare minimum, will still remain as our top priority.
Regardless of kids, jobs, money, anything...........
You have to "pay" yourself first before you can "pay" for anyone/anything else.
That's our motto.

Maybe Ryan, Scarlett and I should hang out........tee hee heeee.....
Hey Ryan, give me a call....

Mid Tour Leave

Little did I know how crazy my next Sunday would be from my last blog post!!
On Sunday the 21st of November, I not only turned the horrid age of 26 (LOL!!) but our newest niece was born (Emery Lynn) AND John came home for his mid tour leave!
I couldn't believe it had been eight months.
I sat in the waiting area at the Fayetteville Airport, completely forgetting about my own birthday (maybe subconsciously it was on purpose?), just going over through my mind how long these eight months had been. The minute I saw him step around the corner, my heart leapt with joy. THIS is what I had been waiting for. THIS moment, was what made those eight long months worth it.

All those wives out there that whine and pine about "I've never been alone from my husband for longer than a DAY, I'm so lonely...."
Yeah, they can outright suck it.
I mean that too. With love and a smile, of course. :)

According to John, I talked his ear off the first couple hours.
I don't remember it being that way, but it's all good.
We went home from the airport and reintegrating him to the animals was hilarious.
Jax was the first to see him and he just puffed up his tail and ran away.
Oddly enough Bella walked right up to him and nose kissed him, it was precious. :)
I had put Hurley outside so he wouldn't go psycho when John walked in and, well, John just got smothered in puppy hugs and kisses. It was PRECIOUS.

The first two days John and I just hung out and got to talk a lot of things over. He is needing to re-enlist before he comes home from this deployment and we are weighing several options in which route to go. Thanks to having a democratic President, money slowly trickles away from military to more socialistic things (just calling it how I see it!).....aka: priorities change.
Amidst all these economic hard times people are going through, I don't think people understand what the refocus of the war/or lack there of is going to do to our economy as well. There's civilian unemployment which is about to be bombarded by military unemployment as the military starts kicking people out who are not assets.
It's already started and people are so glib to not notice or ponder all this in the grand scheme of things. Government layoffs if you really look at it. 
Anyways, off my soap box (for now!).......
Luckily for us, John is an NCO and has options and we are just weighing them out. We both know some changes are ahead and we aren't sure which one will hit us first, but at least we know they are coming!

The day before Thanksgiving John and I flew to Colorado to spend the holiday's with our families. It was so great to see everyone!
We had Thanksgiving dinner that night with my family and then a Thanksgiving day brunch with them as well. John and I then travelled to his brother's house where they were hosting Thanksgiving Day dinner, Christian style...meaning....the most organized pandemonium you will ever see. ;)

Emery Lynn Christian-4 days old!

Met my BEAUTIFUL newest niece and had the joyous job of keeping her AWAKE. She tends to be a "sleep all day stay up all night" baby of which her parents are exactly fans, so I got the mean aunt job of keeping her awake. It was awesome. Of course her four year old sister was being a lil pill cause all the attention was on her new sis. So not only did Uncle John feel the need to spoil her (cough cough, who gets a four year old a digital camera? We do, apparently) and also torture her. Poor thing just didn't know what to do with all these people in the house and most of them just wanted to see her new sister. :( But she survived.
We all survived, barely.
John's dad came into town with his new wife and daughters (John's half sister's I guess!) to meet John. John THE only one who hadn't met them so far and they are getting stationed to Germany here in the next couple months, so they made the trip to come see him.
On the infamous Black Friday, John and I went out to lunch with our high school friends, Scott & Katie.  They are so awesome. They are the type of friends that you can not feel obligated to call ALL the time about everything, but when you finally get to talk or hang out, it's as if you never left. It rocks.
Well, we persuaded Scott to go to Best Buy with us to educate us on cameras (my birthday present from John). Well of course I got distracted by the Mac area and before I knew it we were at a Mac store buying one. :)
It was glorious. Mac-a-licious. 
Yup. I said it.
As a matter of fact, I am writing this blog post on it. :)

We bought it as an investment, to be 100% honest.
We are compromising technically.
We have been talking about starting a family soon, but haven't been able to agree on me staying home or not. I don't want too, he wants me too.
SOOO, buying a iMac (the CS5 is on it's way for Christmas!!!) was a way for me to hopefully continue my graphic design work from home. If and when that time comes!!! So yeah...it's justified...
So what if right now I am working more on my iTunes??
Priorities for the time being. :)
It sure makes Skyping with John fun! I feel like I am talking to a movie theater screen!

On Saturday until Monday, John and I left the Springs for some alone time in Breckenridge. We went to the awesome Great Divide Lodge (we went there after our wedding) and did some skiing. Sadly our camera died while on the run, so no pics. :( We rocked it though.
John fell twice.
I didn't fall even once....it was great! All the Thanksgiving crowd was gone, and at times had the run completely to ourselves. PERFECT.
The last couple days in CO we just made the rounds seeing people, getting an overload of overdue Chipotle for every other meal, and just having a great time.
Even made it out to Garden of the Gods real quick, just for memory's sake.
Last but not least, gotta see my girl Kristen. :) Woop woop!!
We were so glad to get home though!
We got back on Wednesday night and I had taken off the rest of the week from work, so we just had FUN.
Went and saw the new Harry Potter movie. Good times.
John did some yard work and shmoozed with the neighbor that 's been awesomely mowing our lawn while he's been gone. :)
I made John some of my new "healthy" meals and either he lied straight to my face or he liked them a lot more than he thought he would. :)

I went back to work on Monday and had a half day Tuesday to take John to the airport to go back to Iraq. :( Very bittersweet.
You never really know what to say in those final moments before they walk away. We have this thing where I don't go into the airport with him, it's a drive and drop off kinda thing. But it was all good. Only a couple more months to go and he'll be home for good for a while. There's definitely a silver lining.

The downside is the next day I spent good money getting my mouth tortured by the dentist. While mistakingly scheduling this procedure for the beginning of the day instead of end, I was on my way to work, drooling, half my face numb......these are the moments it sucks to be alone.
Luckily Steph and lil man, Lucas brought me over Panera soup that night so I could eat SOMETHIING. :)

So here I am, two weeks later, with a pile of his laundry and some awesome pictures to remind me he was here. It's like it was a two week coma/dream, and when I woke up it was as if he was never here. That sucks.
But I have these special memories and moments stored in my thoughts and my heart. At times they seem a figment of the imagination, but I remember how real they were...regardless of how scared the animals were of it! ;)

Now on to Christmas adventures.....:)

Countdown commencing....

The first countdown of several, that is.
This time next week I could very possibly be hanging out with my husband. :)
Considering that this time next week I will also be turning 26 just leaves the end of November and the waltz into December a crazy one.
In a good way. :)
Other countdowns....
....until our second neice enters this world.....
....until Thanksgiving...yum food!....
....until Christmas, I'm getting to go back to CO....
....until March/April when John is HOME, home.
Lots of good times to look forward too.

I can't believe it's been 7 months without seeing that man.
There are times where it feels like it's flown by.
There are times where I thought a single day would NEVER end.
By the time leave is over and John heads back to the "sandbox," it will have been 8 months down with only 4 to go.
Shoot, I can do that in my sleep. ;)

On another note, I have to brag for a minute.
I am only 2-3 pounds away from the 30 lbs. lost mark.
Thank you, thank you.
I'm pretty proud myself.
I am still on a slight plateau only averaging a pound lost a week or so.
Now that it's cooled down Steph and I are going to have to find a back up for working out. I made John promise to take me to one of the main post gyms while he is home.
The thought of me going to the gym with him makes us both really happy.
He wanted so bad to help me when I was at my lowest point, but I really needed to jumpstart myself. Now that I've gotten to that point, we both look forward to having this new hobby to do together. :)

On another random note, Panera Bread has finally arrived here in Fayetteville, and it opens this THURSDAY....We are so pumped! I swear we have all been counting down the days. The closest Panera is about 25 minutes away from FAY and it's not uncommon for us wives to caravan ourselves and the kiddos to Aberdeen for a Panera fix. We've even moved our weekly Tuesday night dinner to Thursday for the occasion.

With John gone I've kept him in the loop as far as the progress of Panera sending him pictures here and there. Asking if it's open yet seems to be the one reoccuring question I get asked when we Skype! I have a feeling we'll be there quite a bit while he's home. Now if we had a Chipotle in town, we'd really be in business.

Well here's until next time, which could possibly mean John's already headed back to Iraq at that point.
Hooray for some new memories and having my husband home! Even if it's only for two weeks a year....:)

I HATE Halloween

So, if you know me, even a little bit, we've probably at some point had a conversation about what a wuss I am and how much I HATE scary stuff.
Now, oddly enough, I was not always this way. It's something that slowly worsened as I grew older and watched freaky things that totally didn't help my psyche.

Growing up, my family never really "celebrated" Halloween.
I remember one time as a small kid dressing up as a cute little clown (I actually HATE clowns as an adult! Thanks to the movie "IT") and any other time I dressed up as something appropriate for a church Neewollah event.
A cat, most the time.
Completely innocent and free of any freaky interpretation.

As an older kid/pre teen/teen I HATED dressing up. So I never did.
I think it was mainly a self confidence issue. I don't like putting myself in a situation where I could look stupid or dumb in front of others, therefore, I chose not to test the waters much by avoiding this holiday in every way, shape, or form. Especially situations that would consist of me having to dress up.

As a teen, gory or freaky movies never bothered me. I can't say I loved them, but if a group of friends were going to a scary movie, I was down and had a great time. I remember watching "The Ring" with John (when we were dating!) and our dear friends Scott and Katie (they are married now too!) and we all freaked out when in the middle of the movie the TV went static (Scott had rolled over on the remote, LOL). I was exciting and funny to me then.

Once I got into college, things went downhill.

The main "event" I remember that began my Halloween demise, is being at Sarah Sturgis's house when we were all watching "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."
Usually gory movies don't bother me, but for some reason, this movie threw me into another dimension I had never entered before.
Maybe it was the fact that some of the guys decided it'd be hilarious to sneak out of the house and pound on the windows during a scary part.....
Maybe it was Chris Jones sneaking up behind me and breathing down my neck and in my ear!
.....Maybe it was Becca Venheim throwing up at one point cause the movie grossed her out that much??
.....It could also be the fact that on my drive to CO from OKC we drive through a part of Texas where there's a heavily wooded stretch of road between two small towns that has TONS of warning signs screaming at you to not pick up hitchhikers.....
IDK, maybe all those things combined?
Either way, I went home that night to the dorm and laid wide awake and frozen in my bed with the cold sweats. My heart was pounding. I had sweat literally running down my face. Every time I opened my eyes I could see "Leatherface" staring at me overhead....like a ghost floating over my bed.
Starting that night, I never slept in darkness or in the quiet ever again.

My weird phobia took a extreme twist when my group of college friends went to Tulsa with my girl, Laurie Tomlinson (Martin). We went and saw "The Grudge."
Needless to say I was secretly in tears most of the movie and hand my hands over my eyes. Hence began my phobia of Asian people.
I know that sounds bizarre and maybe even racist, but I PROMISE it's not like that.....
This new twist along with my heightened anxiety at night when trying to sleep-I was a mess.
I remember being at home during summer break in college and waking up from a nightmare and I swear to this day there was a creepy little dead Asian girl standing at the foot of my bed.

I know how weird that sounds, but you have no idea how much it gripped me. 

I remember working at Mimi Maternity in college. 

Most nights I'd work by myself in the store, and I remember one night specifically where this beautiful Asian woman and  her  two small boys came in the store to shop. I was petrified. Especially by the boys. If you've seen "The Grudge" you'd know why!

This fear gripped me especially during Halloween when people would spook people in masks or dress up as real creepy things that looked WAY to real for me to handle. 

I was scared to go to sleep. I was scared of the dark. EVERYTHING would make me jump.
Slammed doors. People coming through doors I didn't see. Car horns. People coming up behind me in anyway.....
While living back home I slowly got over my Asian phobia....LOL.
I am proud to say that being around Asian people no longer bothers me (unless it's in a spooky way, like a scary movie preview!) and I have several friends (I love you Christie Chan!!) that are Asian that laugh it off with me.....every once in a while I'll see an Asian child running through a store and I'll stop short and then slowly talk myself down from thinking about it.

By my senior year of college, I managed to at least sleep with the TV turned off. Still had the lights on and substituted the sound of the TV to a more subtle sound of a fan.
Moving back home after college was not a good experience at first because I was back in my room where I saw that dead girl. I would not sleep without a light on, my door locked, and a fan or space heater going for some white noise.

So if you look at where this all stems from (scared of clowns thanks to the movie "IT," scared of Asians, thanks to "The Grudge," scared of creepy dudes "Texas Chainsaw"), it seems like I have a serious issue differentiating "pretend" from reality.
I actually think it's a control issue. Or lack thereof.
I also think that it's related to my freak out sessions at the ocean. I CANNOT stand being in the ocean. I love to look at it and love to be on the beach. But the water and I are NOT friends. My freakout with that happened in Mexico when John and I went snorkeling on a reef during our cruise. I accidentally floated to the "wrong" side of the reef and when I looked over all I saw was black darkness....it was the vast open ocean and all the sudden I felt so small to the point where I panicked. John had to float me back to the other side of the reef cause I was so frozen. I had no control.

Photo taken at our photography studio at work.

Today is dress up day at work and luckily for me I work with people that are funny instead of scary, LOL. I didn't dress up obviously, but the "theme" this year were classic characters from the WWE, and I got deemed the photographer this morning. :)

Granted I don't know who half of these character's are but it was great watching everyone have such a great time.

My worst enemy.

Until this guy showed up at the shoot.
Oh Em Gee.
I was snapping pics (like the one above) in the studio and turned around and saw this.
My jaw dropped, brain went blank, palms sweating, heart almost exploded, tears welled up, and instantly started looking for the door. I made a comment as I was scrambling away that he was freaking me out, in which he slowly turned his head and looked straight at me.
He was holding a bloody machete by the way.....
I started walking towards the group away from him and he followed me!....Not even cool....Luckily it was total pandemonium in the studio and no one noticed me panicking looking for the nearest exit.
Everyone kept asking, "Who is that?"
No one could figure out who it was and he wouldn't speak!
Which just freaked me out even more.

The group quickly disbursed to parade their outfits throughout the plant (especially customer service whom we were attempting to beat this year) allowing me to own my sweet escape!

Sigh.
Most of the time I will not fully admit I have all these fears.
It makes me feel like a kid and of course it's always hard for someone to admit something they are scared of. For me it's a series of things and I am slowly over time somewhat coming to terms with a couple of them. I've actually had to overcome them big time with John deployed. He isn't here to protect me! LOL.

My first Halloween in NC was fun cause the McNew's were our neighbors and John was home, so we had a great time with the neighbor kids. Every year since then I've always managed to be alone on Halloween forcing me to hide out in my house with my lights off and my pets on my lap ignoring the ringing doorbell.
Last year, I was told by leaving your porch light off that people would skip your house, so I went along with it. My doorbell was still rung! I finally figured out I had left my garage door open, so they obviously knew I was home......duh......
This year I am going trick or treating with some military families and their kids so hopefully that should be a tame event. We are going on post and the kids are all under 8, so I don't foresee it getting too rowdy.

For all of you out there getting ready to get your "Halloween" on this weekend, I apologize on behalf of all us party poopers that do not share your enthusiasm in dressing up for one night. But I swear if you jump out at me with some freaky mask on, I might burst into tears or it's on like donkey kong.

Happy Anniversary!!

Hello All!!

First off, happy 6 month anniversary to all of my 108th ladies!
We are half way there and many of us are in countdown mode until our mid tour leave R &R arrives!! How exciting and what an amazing ride it's been so far!
I can honestly say that as far as my end is concerned, it's been a good ride overall so far.
Def had some bumps in the road (car accidents & lawn mowers not starting!) but looking back on the past 6 months it really has gone by quickly and I really am blessed.

I'll be randomly walking around my house, hiking the Cape Fear Trail with Steph & Luke,  or just driving around town and I remember that this time, maybe a year and a half ago, I felt anything but blessed.
I hated my job, I hated Ft. Bragg, I hated Fayetteville, and I HATED North Carolina.
Although I am still fighting some of these inner demons, I am proud to say that I am learning to truly make lemonade out of life's lemons and make it the best adventure possible.
I have a job I love and try so hard, every day, to not take it for granted, no matter how frustrated I get.
I have a house and want for nothing that it doesn't already have in it.
I have a new car that I don't have to worry about breaking down or having issues with (even if it has been "hit" twice!).
I have three awesome pets that I wouldn't trade the world for. They really are my saving grace while John is gone. These three furry babies are what keep me extremely entertained on a daily basis and I am so blessed to have these little creatures in my life to keep me smiling and laughing. Even if I am home by myself!
I also have an amazing husband who, although I haven't seen him  in the last 6 months, still manages to make me feel like a rockstar-even if he is on the other side of the world.
The Army life has turned me into this person that can go on with her day-to-day activities and not even spend a second thought on worry what John may or not be doing while deployed. We both find an amazing solace in the fact that we can both focus on our jobs and our day-to-day rituals and not have that little bug in the back of your mind wondering if the other one is ok, or what they are doing...

I guess you could say it's what 100% trust feels like, and I am telling you that it is so RELIEVING!

I could go on and on, so I won't bore you, but the one other thing in my life that I have realized more and more that I am blessed by are my friends and family.
These cover several categories, starting with not only friends, but my military wife friends.

We are all rockstars in our own right and not everyone in this world can do what we do. We are a special "breed" of women, in my opinion, that cannot only find small joys when we are alone, but also can make joy extra special when we aren't.
As bad as this may sound, I so bad want to challenge all those women that whine, complain, and miss their hubs who are gone for a weekend, or even a week, or a month for work............
Please.....story of my life.....the world's smallest violin is playing sorrowfully for you somewhere, just not anywhere near here. :)

Then there are my non-military wife friends. It seems no matter how far apart we have scattered since high school/college, we all still manage to pick up where we left off when we do get to see each other. I love it. I do miss the fun times of when we all were together, but hey, we have our big kid panties on now, so let's rock it from a distance. :)

Then my fam.
They are so quirky and I heart it.
Everyone always secretly thinks their family is crazy.
Come on, at least a little bit!
I, however, will openly admit that we are all crazy and I think we all take pride in that fact.
We like to substitute the word "crazy" for "unique," but hey "potato, potato."

Anyways, here goes to the next couple months as we all get to experience our two week R&R's and then look on forward to their return home...:)

Unorganized Chaos...

Yup.
That pretty much describes the last month for me.
An oxymoron if you ask me, but this month has proved to be just a mess upon mess upon mess, so oxymorons are allowed in my book.

Where do I start....Well, let's go in order so the anticipation will slowly build up to the purpose behind my blog title.

To begin, let's start on a positive note!

My cousin, Ashleigh, and one of my dear friends I met in college, Kristen, flew out to North Carolina for a vacation. We hit up Myrtle Beach, SC and had a great time. Despite having to work around my crazy busy work schedule, we managed to get some sun, meet some new people, and make some memories. Did a tad bit of shopping, attempted every morning to get a sunrise, laid out and walked around enjoying the sun...Senor Frogs....Hard Rock Cafe.....Boardwalk...Ron Jon.....exactly what we all needed I think.  

We actually left just in time. The last day there we spent the morning laying out on the beach with one of Kristen's friends who's from the area. She texted us later once we left town saying there had been a shark attack on the beach we had been laying out at!!

Shark week def left an impression on us, literally. :)

Now let's start the snowball of crappy stuff.

I was in that car accident a couple weeks ago and although they had my car fixed, they have given me tons of crap. The last of it was when they offered me $150 for loss of value on my car....long story short we are considering our options including suing Nationwide....we'll see how that goes...

Second downer is that I had a falling out with the gym I had been going too. Needless to say I was able to get my membership cancelled without all the fees. Downside is I didn't have a backup gym in place to go to. So since then I have been doing a walk that Steph and I invented almost everyday with Hurley. I clocked it the other day at 1.7 miles, and it's on hills, so go me.

Downer #3, my iPod quit.

Well, then I went to Myrtle Beach again. LOL.

This time with the FRG ladies for the Strong Bonds Deployed Spouses Retreat. It was a weekend long and didn't hit the beach at all, but had a great time getting to know some of my fellow military wives better.

Funny enough, my father in law and his family are TCS'd in Ft. Jackson, SC and met me in Myrtle Beach for lunch so I could meet his daughters.

His name is Pete, a Chaplain Captain in the Army, and he remarried a couple years ago to a Filipino woman he met overseas, named Daisy. They have 2 year old and 7 month old little girls named Alliyah (sp?) and Katherine. They are gorgeous little girls and it was neat to be able to see them.

We don't talk to his dad or his new family much, so the fact that it worked out was really cool. To this day John has never met his new family, he has always been deployed when they've been in the area, so whenever they are around I try my best to meet up with them.

Well here goes stressful moments 4-however many....

Apparently the new trend these days is to get married and then tell everyone about it later.

This first happened with my best friend Dana, who was my college roommate and my maid of honor in my wedding. Although I am still on the mend of how much it sucked not to be able to share that moment with her, we are working past it and hopefully making our friendship stronger in the process.

Little did I know that this was preparing me for it to happen in my own family.

John's middle brother shocked us a couple months ago telling us he was engaged to this girl Brittany. John and I have never met her, so imagine our shock.

Well got another shockeroo when I got a text message from my sister in law that, sure enough, Jerrod was getting married that evening and she had just found out. Sure enough they got married and of course John, his best man, wasn't there....I guess obviously I wasn't either, but the main reason for me blowing up was cause John wasn't there.....

Well, long story short, it's not been a good situation and it's going to take some MAJOR work for some of us to get over all this and get it all sorted out. It's hard for me to not take these actions personally and it really makes John and I feel so disconnected from everyone in their lives...we feel far away from home enough already....moments like this make it seem even further.

It will work itself out. It always does somehow....

John is really the one feeling really hurt.

Maily cause he can't do anything about it. Morale has already been really crappy for the guys and adding this on top has really made him feel far away.

Luckily for me and everyone else in our lives, John is an amazing forgiving person. One of the best I know. It seems no matter how much crap people throw in that man's face he refuses to let it bring him down. I love him for it because it makes me grow as a person.

With him being like that I have gotten the mindset where I refuse, regardless of how John & I feel right now, to let something like this tear any family member's apart.

Downer #......??

Jax ate his third pair of my sandles......Sigh.....Yes, Jax is my cat (he's curled up in my lap all cute while I type this, I will have you know).

Next downer, I accidentally busted our vaccum running over a dog toy.....

Positives out of some of these situations?

I got a new iPod and it's PINK!

I completely disected our vaccum figured out the problem, replaced all the filters, and got it working again. All BY MYSELF!

It also seems these days that either everyone is getting pregnant :) or getting divorced. :(

Obviously not going to name names, but it seems to be going one extreme or another and the divorced ones are ones I never imagined. Some I know better than others, but it still is hard to watch. Especially from a distance. You want to know what's going on with them, but at the same time you don't want to come across nosy or pushy, or in their business..... ya know?

As far as the pregnant part, it's been an awesome thing to watch. Thank you Lord so much for Facebook. LOL.
As much as I hate FB sometimes, it really does allow me to see some of my friends from far away in these joyous events.
Won't lie, it's given me a bit of the baby bug which fortunately for me, John's not here, so no babies. I just go love on my animals some....
John and I were actually proactively planning to expand our family, in the human sort, LOL, here in the next year or so, but plans have changed, as they always do, so here I am getting back on the pill.
From our experience in the Army lifestyle, we have become firm believers that things happen when they are supposed to, so we aren't letting these plans be viewed as negative setbacks....just steps we are making so we can be better suited and set up for when we do start a family.
Our motto is we work now, so we can play later.
So as of right now, we aren't sure what kind of work we are going to be doing, per se, but we just know there will be a couple more years of it. :)
Of course, I am jinxing myself, so there goes nothing...............

After typing all this out it doesn't seem like such chaos....I think it's been more of the emtional of psychological drain than anything. Some of this is stuff that normally wouldn't be a big deal but I am realizing that I need John home more than I have admitted. For fixing vaccums....Lord knows I miss that man dearly, and I don't think I do a very good job of showing it.
I've had my moments, but most the time I keep myself so busy that I don't give myself time to miss him or to get emotional about it.
But when I see him on Skype or get an email, bu heart still skips a beat. :) I do miss him. TONS. Luckily I am surrounded by people that are going through the same thing so we rely on each other for that stability...as much as I don't talk about how his deployment effects me, it really does eat me up inside. There are so many things he and I work so hard for and with the morale being so low over there right now, it kills me. It makes me feel guilty for sitting home all weekend watching movies in my AC with my yummy food, hanging out with our kiddos...
If anyone asks me (and no one really does anymore anyways), I am doing fine and things are good...but inside my heart hurts a little.
Don't get me wrong, things are easier the second time around. I couldn't imagine going through the first deployment here in NC by myself.....I'd have broken a long time ago. Vaccum or not!

I am SOOOO grateful for my job, as tired as it makes me feel sometimes.
I am SOOOO grateful for my military girls and our Tuesday night dinners (this week Texas Roadhouse, Woo Hoo!!) and our random BBQ's or outings.....

Well, this was one of my first weekends since John left where I had TWO days off AND I spent them at home doing absolutely nothing.....I've watched 5 movies total thanks to Netflix (Benjamin Button, Last Song, Edge of Love, Do you hear about the Morgans, and The Pianist), caught up on my trash reality TV, bought some groceries, got my car inspection done, ate sushi, looked for plane tickets, fixed the vaccum, cleaned the kitchen top to bottom, and started "24" season 4....yes I know I watch a lot of TV, but I work a lot on the weekdays, so the weekends I catch up!

August is almost gone, so that means four months down!
November is his rumored mid tour leave, so only 3 more to go! :)

Venting Session

Ok, so I go into the gym yesterday just to be smacked around (figuratively) by a sign on the spin classroom door that spin classes are being changed to Tuesday's and Thursdays instead of Monday's and Wednesdays.
AND!!!! Our usual instructor, whom I LOVE, is no longer teaching the class.
I almost had a FIT right then and there.
I went up to the front and asked the girl at the front desk about it (she goes to the classes too) and she didn't have much info to give me.
I ran into one of the trainers on my way to the locker room and asked her about it and she said that our instructor, Amy, did NOT quit.
So, one can assume she got fired for some reason.....
What the...?!!?!?
I LOVED her, I ADORED her and honestly, I owe a lot of my weight loss/success to her and her class.
I seriously had tears in my eyes as I went to the locker room to change....

I worked out anyways and of course us women that had showed up for spin just to find that awesome sign, started talking/complaining to each other about it.
We are a little clique I'll admit. A true mixture of ages, occupations, areas of life, but we all had this one thing in common. We LOVED spin. We LOVED Amy.
Whomever is taking over her class as HUGE shoes to fill.....

When I got home my mom called and I had a true melt down.
Yes, over my spin class.
And that's where I came to the realization that I used this spin class as my crutch to make up time when I would normally be home with John.
I didn't want to do spin because I love it, I NEEDED to do spin because I NEEDED it.
I needed that "something" to take up my time so that my routine continued to be full and I wouldn't have enough time to sit and think about the fact that I am here alone without him.
Can I just tell you how awesome my mom is?!
She's run into the issue, several times, where her women's only gyms kept closing altogether.
She said she had little fits about it like I was, but you just readapt and keep doing what you are doing, don't let this little hiccup dictate my success at being healthy, fit, and happy.

That's all well and great, but now I am also going to have to figure out how the rest of my life routine is going to work, because.....
Usually on Tuesday's us Army wives have our Tuesday night dinners at a new restaurant every week. That's something I don't/can't miss...I need it too!
Once a month on Thursday's is our FRG meetings.....Don't necessarily NEED to go to that, but I should.

Not sure what I am going to do, but there, I got it out.  Just know I am upset, and have taken it rather personally......LOL.

Pool, Pedicures, and Pupcakes

Hello all!

This month of July has definitely not failed to keep me "entertained."

Continuing my saga of car drama, my mom came down to visit me the weekend of 4th of July. I think my self pity made her and my dad feel my pain. ;)
She came into Raleigh on Friday night and after sleeping in Saturday morning, we hit the pool at Steph's apt complex. Steph's sister and niece were in town so they joined us, as well as Jeanette, at the pool for some much needed relaxing and girl time.
After the pool mom, Jeanette, and I went to the mall to get a much needed pedicure.
4th of July weekend is our designated weekend for Hurley's birthday (he turned #2!!) so we stopped by a dog "barkery" called WOOF and picked him up some organic cookies (gluten and soy free of course, HA!) and a birthday "pupcake!"
We waited until the end of the three day weekend, before mom left, to give it to him. It was so cute! The "pupcake" is organic/gluten/soy free carrot cake with a yogurt frosting and he LOVED it. He carried it around for a while until he decided he would go ahead and eat it.
I also bought him two dog cookies, one in the shape of a lobster (it was really cute, ok!?) and one in the shape of a birthday cake. He also carried them around for a while before he settled down to eat them. I think he wanted to make sure Jax wasn't going to take it from him, like he does everything else!
On Sunday after church, we all made our way to Jenn A's house where her and her adorable kiddo's hosted a little 4th of July "partay" for us.
We BBQ'd potluck style so we had tons of food. Jenn's kids got an absolute kick out of my mom. They not only didn't believe she was my mom but also got some much needed time pseudo grandma time. After eating we headed towards the company area to watch the firework show they do on post. They started a little late so keeping the kids entertained was a chore, but we managed. :)
Got home pretty late but managed to sleep in on Monday and then make the trek back to Raleigh to drop mom off. It was so great to have her there. Looking back on it, that was just what I needed after the car accident. I just needed someone to hang out with at home. There's nothing more stressful and irritating than taking care of drama like car accidents with a husband deployed. Just her presence was good enough for me. Someone to vent to and also to take my mind off of things (I will also have you know that somehow while mom was here I managed to lose another 3-5 pounds! So I am now down to 141-142 lbs!)

I took my car to the vehicle adjustor close to my work to prep an estimate. I had a weird feeling about this guy and so far my feelings have been right. He's just not all 100% there......don't know any other way to say it.
I finally started going back to the gym that week.
Came out kinda sore, but gotta start somewhere.

Dropped the Rogue off at the body shop on the 12th. The estimator only gave them 4 days to do the work, but everyone agreed it would take longer than that. So of course, on Thursday when I call to see if it's done, it wasn't, and they said to check back on Friday, the 16th, and see if it's done then. They had to order parts because there was more damage than originally estimated, so on Friday, they told me it wouldn't be ready until that next Monday.
Awesome.
That Thursday I went to my follow up doc appointment and was good for the most part. I have one more doc appt today and I should be done. HOWEVER, because my insurance isn't being charged for these doc visits, I have some outstanding bills in my name which is something I HATE. Have a meeting Friday with the Medical Claims Adjustor, so that should quickly go away, but still!

Finally picked up my car on Monday.
Had to drop off the rental car which quickly became issue #1.
When they pulled up my account they said that Nationwide hadn't approved the extension of my rental car and that until they get it approved and paid for, they are going to continue to hold the deposit on my card.
Awesome, again.
They give me a ride to the body shop I got my car fixed at.
When I went inside to pay for it the total they gave me was for more than the check Nationwide gave me.
When I asked her about the difference in numbers (it was only about $20) they said that because I brought my car in with a used muffler and they had to replace it with a new one, that I had to pay the difference of the depreciated muffler they replaced.
Did anyone ever tell me I was going to have to pay this expense? Nope.
Wow, this is a lot of awesomeness.
I called the adjustor immediately after paying and it went straight to voicemail.
Called again about half an hour later and it rang twice and went to voicemail.
Went to the dealership where the car was bought to get an appraisal done.
In the end, according to the dealership, my loss of value if I traded in my vehicle for a unwrecked version, is $5,410.
AWESOME (please note the sarcasm).

Needless to say through several days worth of no returned phone calls, I finally got the adjustor on the phone and he came by and looked at my car today. The rental car issue was resolved and he's going to write me a check for the difference in total I had to pay at the body shop for the muffler (even though he said they aren't "obligated" too).
Status update on it is that now that it's fixed he submits paperwork to corporate to determine loss of value. They conference meeting over it and come up with an offer anywhere from 2-3 weeks. So now I wait........

Things to look forward to:

My girls Kristen and Ashleigh are coming next week and we are going to hit Myrtle Beach like a hurricane. It's going to be so great. :)

June 2010-Three Months Down!!!

Can I just start off by saying that this has been a real roller coaster of a month and it's been a true test of my military wife gumption.
First off i have proof that I have lost the 20 +/- lbs that I have been proudly talking about.
Please check out Exhibit A which is from a doctor's note today (more about the note later!):

If you check out my prior posts, I published that at the beginning of this journey that I weighed in at 161 +/-. Last time I was at the doctor it was actualy a couple pounds more than this, but I wanted to give myself a little bit of credit! Althought I FEEL like I am smaller than this new weigh in, I does give me a boost of encouragement that what I am doing is good and right. So, here I am patting myself on the back, go me. :)

Secondly, I am now a firm believer in Skype. My friend Dana has bugged the heck out of me to use it while she's been traveling abroad, and John mentioned that he's used it, but I just never investigated it. Well for John's birthday his mom bought us webcams and now I am a firm believer. It's been so great to see that boy's face and be able to TALK to him. We have Skype dates once a week and it's just been so great.

Next, I have started going out to dinner with fellow military wives once a week and it's been so nice! Every week we've hit up a different restaurant and just hung out and have had just some good old fashioned girl time. Next week B-Dubs! YUM.

So a couple months ago we sold John's car before his deployment. Found the buyer, signed over the title with the notary, turned in our plates John deployed. It's all good right? Yeah well not so much.
I get a bill in the mail from Harnett County to pay property taxes on the Altima. Through a bunch of drama and insane amounts of phone calls, turns out the buyer of the Altima never took the newly turned over title to the DMV to register it in his name, so therefore we were still technically the owners, therefore getting a property tax bill. Of course John had done all the communications with our buyer. With him and his cell phone out of commission I had no way to get in touch with this guy. Between even more drama and headaches with the DMV and the County it pretty much came down to either I find this guy or I the car will continue to be in our names.
Well, dug through ALL of our car paperwork from the last 4 years and finally found his email. I emailed him and heard nothing. Dug through more paperwork and finally found a phone number. Called and left a message and heard nothing. Finally the County called him and he answered. They got him to do what he needed to do and even with a little bit of attitude from him it eventually got all taken care of.
Even so, it was an "awesome" three week experience that makes me even less of a fan of NC, esp it's DMV. I even had one of the DMV workers hang up on me. No joke.
Anyways, it's over, it'done.

These last couple weeks have been crazy at work. Just so busy. A couple months ago they had the whole company do an anonymous survey about our thoughts/opinions about the company and even more specific, our department. Well, I absolutely adore my job and I'll put up with just about anything in order to keep it. Our deparmental scores came back and showed that people's morale was low and that there was a highly acknowledged case of favortism that we scored high in. Therefore, no bueno.
So in order for all of us to get stuff off our chests our bosses boss took all of us out to lunch, two at a time, so we could say our piece. Whatever it may be and also offer any suggestions, if we had any. It was really nice to be able to go in and vent some issues without having to be intimidated by some of our dominants in the office. We also were told it's review time and to be ready to have our meetings with our boss. Most people get worried about this kind of stuff. Not me. I love what I do and I bust my butt to do my best all the time, so I plan on having a fun conversation with my boss and ask if I can work more on some of the concept work. I'm excited to think about what opportunities I may get in order to get my feet wet. I think I am good at what I do, but I also know I can always learn, so I really hope I get the opportunity to go that route some.

Yesterday, the last day of the month, has probably been the worst. On the way home from work I was rear ended AGAIN. My car has REALLY taken a beating and I am SO sick of it. The people here drive like crap and the fact that I have been rear ended twice in the last six months just proves I am not exaggerating. Buying a brand new car was such a mistake in this respect.
I was in rush hour and probably not even 2 miles from home. The car in front of me stopped quick, but I was far enough behind that I was able to stop without an issue. Well the dude behind me not so much because he rammed right into me totally pushing in the "hatchback" part of my SUV. He was driving a bigger SUV than me. The impact was only inches below my back window, so it could have been a lot worse. It still looks pretty bad to me though!

Luckily for me the guy had insurance. In FAY they don't send cops to car accidents, they send Crash Investigators (AKA: people that probably didn't pass PoPo school). I saw the buy coming and was panicked more that he was going to push me into the car in front of me. Luckily for me the light had turned green a couple second prior to impact so the car in front of me had already started moving ahead and was not hit by me. When the impact happened he pushed me forward quite a bit but we still managed to stay in the lanes we were traveling in so it didn't kill traffic too much. I hit my head on the back of my seat  

and it instantly brought tears to my eyes....I kept looking in my rear view mirror at this guy and he just sitting there. By not getting out of the car I was actually worried he might drive off. I called 911 and they said they'd send someone (Crash Investigator). At that point I got out of my car and started snapping these pics on my cell phone. The investigator drove up and had us drive up the street some to a side street so we could handle all the paperwork, etc. By the time I pulled up on the side street another Crash Investigator showed up, so the other one left....Weird, but whatever. Eventually an actual FAY policeman in an

unmarked car showed up, but didn't even talk to me. Started to really make me mad at that point. While the crash investigator was typing up her report the cop was talking to the guy that hit me talking to HIM about good body shops in town etc. The cop never said a single word to me.
I'm sorry, I know my hubs is a Military Cop, but seriously. You are going to stand there and talk to the guy that hit a girl and not say a single word to the girl while she's sitting there on the curb by herself?
Jerk.
We got our paperwork and I headed home with extremely wounded pride. Not only is my car messed up AGAIN, but here I am driving home in a messed up car. Whenever I see people driving around with dented up scratched up cars, I'm sorry, I judge. Esp here in Fayetteville.
I take major pride in having my new car and have tried very hard to take perfect care of it. Driving around with it so damaged REALLY wounded my pride. I felt like people were looking at me like, "Dang, that girl HAD a nice car and got it all messed up, probably was doing something stupid...." Etc.
By the time I got home I was beat. I'll admit I had my first hissy fit and cried for about a minute. This sucks dealing with without John here. I'm thankful for my girls Jeanette and Steph (thanks girls!) but still. I quickly reminded myself that acting like that wasn't going to get anything done, so I got a couple more pictures taken and talked to the parents and my insurance so they could file the claim for me. I had a pounding headache, my neck was already sore as heck, and I did feel a little nautious, but not for any longer than an hour or so, once I ate something and got it in my system. Went and took a shower and watched some 24 just to relax.
By the time I went to bed I still had a pounding headache and just wanted it all to go away.
This morning I woke up with a shooting pain from neck through my shoulder and down my bicep. The pain was so sharp that my fingers started getting a tingling feeling and my hand started to randomly go numb.
Awesome.
Called the doc up and they got me right in (I LOVE my doc by the way, just needed to give AHEC a shout out). After barely being able to even clasp my BRA or put my hair up, I was able to get presentable and head to the docs office.
Determined no concussion, but think I may have pinched a nerve or may have a bit of whiplash/lower neck disc issues....Got a couple xrays taken, picked up some perscriptions for some muscle relaxers and pain killers, and have been chilling out here at home just resting it up.

The adjustor is supposed to be coming here in the next hour or so to do their thing and have an appointment to go by an estimator on Tuesday.

Out of all this pandemonium, my mom decided to fly here to NC to hang out with me this 4th of July weekend and baby me some. This is going to be great! I miss my mommy and we have some of the best talks and best times together. She's going to come with me to a 4th of July BBQ with some of the military wives on post, so this should be blast, she should fit right in. :)

I'm more calm and collected now, considering and have reclaimed my HOOAH attitude. :) Things happen. Can't do anything about it, so gotta do what you gotta do.
I'm so grateful that I have my ladies I can call and vent/text vent too if need be. Thanks ladies. I'm glad that even though we are alone without our hubs, we are alone together. This is what it's all about.

Month #2

Wow! June is here!!
How crazy is that? Although the time since he left feels like forever ago, in reality two months??
Dang.
The best way I remind myself of how long John has been gone is by how old little Lucas Steven gets. He was born day after the guys left so he's my little representation of time gone by. :)

Well, what else went on in May....
After my awesome weekend in DC with Kristen and after my family rendezvous in OKC, the rest of May consisted of the nose on the grindstone at work and at the gym.
We are working "mandatory" overtime at work still so that is right up my ally. The extra $$ doesn't hurt either.
I have still been hitting the gym 4-6 days a week and have officially lost 20 pounds since November since I started. I have said that I've lost 20 lbs for a while, but it wasn't until the other night that it was a solid 20. The other times it was the most I had lost in a fluxuating context.
This time it's legit.
If anything I can now throw myself into the lost 20-25 pound zone.
I do think however, that I have been overtraining some.
By the end of last week I was so exhausted. Obviously I worked a lot, but before John left, when I worked out I felt energized and more awake for the day.
Now I was falling asleep at my desk, unfortunately occasionally reaching for a half cup of coffee...
Jeanette mentioned I may be overtraining, and at first I was very dismissive of it.
I need to lose weight, of course I am "overtraining!"
I didn't see it as overtraining though, I saw it as a necessary means to an end.
But then when the gym forced me to miss a day by being closed for the Memorial holiday, I really noticed that my body just needed to rest. So I gave in and watched hours of "24" while puttering around the house hanging out with my kiddos.

On the Sunday before Memorial Day, I hosted a mini BBQ at my house for other deployed/alone spouses.
Figured if we are alone on a holiday like this, we might as well be alone together!!
It was potluck style where everybody brought something and it worked out awesomely.
I busted out the grill for the first time in my life, and I must say I feel like quite the grill master.
Ironically before the ladies and kids came over I pulled the grill out and started it just to make sure I remembered what John taught me!
As soon as I got it lit I smelled this horrible rubber burning smell.....
Panicked, I turned it off, but then I noticed smoke coming down the block up towards the neighbor's house.
Sure enough, the neighbor's car somehow caught on fire.
LOL.
I know it's not funny, but looking back on it now, it is.
This is a family with some teenage kids. They are actually really awesome kids and I can honestly say have never been a pain unlike some of the adults and small children in our neighborhood.
Well, one of the sons had this old Jeep he drove around everywhere. You could tell it was his pride and joy. I had even seen him out washing it on the weekends, etc.
Which probably just made it rust more, but he had great intentions.
I don't know how the fire started, but the Jeep was on fire and in the background I hear sirens coming.
Of course this is about the time that my company should be showing up and the fire engine is blocking my street.
Awesome.
Needless to say, they ended up letting my ladies through and we cooked out.
I bought some skewers and had marinaded some chicken and steak with tons of veggies and we all went to town.
It was great way to spend the holiday.

Headed into month number three I know that there is going to be a lot of changes coming up.
Unfortunately, since the direction of the Iraq war is changing, so are things with our soldiers.
The biggest blow so far has been that the 108th MP Company has had their Airborne status removed. They no longer will be allowed to wear their Airborne tab on their sleeve and will have to change to black berets instead of the maroon.
The tab and beret change is more of a pride issue than an actual political issue.
We aren't loosing the jump pay incentive yet, but when they get home from deployment they will, so that's a bummer (you got an increase in pay on a monthly basis if you were airborne qualified).

The second change is that as of right now, the MP Corps is not taking re-enlistments.
Most the guys are pretty freaked out about it cause that means if they are to re-enlist, they will have to enlist under a different job than a Military Policeman which in most cases means moving to wherever your new job may be.
The rumor is that for the Non Commissioned Officers, like John, re-enlistment will be available come this October, but there is no incentive what-so-ever.
No signing bonus, no PCS wish list, nothing.
Nothing but a "Good job, get back to work," type of thing.
This is all assuming that the rumors are true.
So during our weekly talks we are batting back and forth different MOS ideas and different scenarios.
Ultimately we have time until October and John isn't having to re-enlist for a while, so time is on our side, but if nothing changes, then he will probably change his MOS which means we will most likely move.
He's looking into MOS's like Drill SGT school, Military Intelligence (like a detective), Drone school.....
There are several options, but of course it's nerve racking.....

Audrey, our niece, had her 4th birthday on the 28th. Can't believe she is four!
It sucks being so far away so we can't participate on those special days, but we try to make up for it when we can.
John is even planning his mid-tour leave to be this coming November which is not only my birthday and Thanksgiving, but also when his new niece or nephew is due to be born. :)
It's exciting.

Think that's all for now...Let's see what month #3 brings!

Old Stomping Grounds

Last weekend I made yet another getaway and flew to OKC to attend my cousin's undergraduate college graduation at my alma mater.

Boy had I MISSED IT!!!!

I knew that I missed certain things about college life and even good ole Bethany, OK before I went, but seeing my old stomping grounds again brought about this strange rush of emotions that made me miss it ALL. 

The trip was short and packed to the brim of things to do and places to be, but even amidst all the craziness, I was able to walk around a little bit and take it all in.

I left early (3 AM!!) Friday morning to catch my flight from Raleigh-Houston-OKC. Despite weather delays in OKC I managed to get there around lunch time.

My family surprised me by managing to get my brother to come along for the graduation weekend. I hadn't seen my little booger of a bro in a while. Not for a quality amount of time anyways, so it was awesome to have all four of us cousins together. It probably doesn't mean as much to any of them as it does to me right now, but I am hoping it will someday. I only have TWO cousins on this planet, so I wouldn't have missed the opportunity to support one of them for anything. Fortunately for me, the rest of my family feels the same way when one of us comes at a life changing crossroads. Always an excuse for a BBQ. :)

That night I went with to the Senior Celebration which traditionally is the night before graduation where the grad's can invite their families for a banquet type setting little PARTAY. Nice chance for some dress up photo ops, meet these prof's you have heard so much about, and meet the roommates and friends that you have heard the most random stories about. I met up with a few of my friends I graduated with which was awesome. 

It's so surreal to go back to a place where you get to see people you haven't seen since "that day," three years ago when it was OUR Senior Celebration we were attending. 

It was humbling, fun, and scary. 

In a good way, oddly enough.

Next morning woke up at the crack of dawn to hitch a ride with the early goers that morning to the SNU campus. 

We drive up to campus and this is the first time I am seeing it in day time. The dorm I spent so much of my college experience in is now torn down and being rebuilt about 3 times the size of the original and is now going to be COED. The fact that COED is even an option now at the campus amazes me. 

The only COED experience any of us got was open dorm night once in a blue moon and Intramurals!! 

It's crazy that something that significant could change in only three years.

Seems so long ago yet it seems like yesterday.

My dear college partner in crime, Laurie, picked me up on campus and we went out to breakfast to catch up before commencement started. She got married a month after me so both of our lives started changing about at the same time and here we are in the same place thinking about some of the same things and struggling with some of the same issues in life. 

It was kind of relieving.

We may not talk as much as we used to or be as close, but I learned from this weekend, that that is ok. We're changing. We've changed. But not for the worse, but for the better. We aren't the little college kids running around owing the place anymore. We're grown, making "big kid" decisions now, and it was so awesome to take our friendship to that level.

House buying, work, kids, pets, school, other college friends, etc. 

We have the same mentality we used to have, just different issues. :)

Big kid issues. 

Graduation was very enlightening. We had reserved, "cool people", seating thanks to my lovely Aunt Myrna being on what seems to be every board possible for the University. :)

There were long drawn out speeches that I couldn't tell you much about.

I was too busy gazing around the auditorium (with my glasses now since I'm old and blind now!) picking out familiar faces from the large crowd. 

But once the "name calling" started I was paying attention.

I promise. :)

Of course, my cousin is a little rockstar with all his medals/ropes/etc. so he sounded like a prisoner in chains when he walked up in line and had his 15 seconds of awesomeness. It was great. 

While out at the ivy ring ceremony I found my brick the University put out by the fountain in front of the Commons. It's pretty cool to have your school do that for you. :)

I saw my awesome Professor Wilcox who was my Editor advisor my senior year. Also a great friend. 

Seeing those bricks there brought back so many memories of late office nights, newspaper deliveries, Starbucks runs, SGA meetings, staff meetings........Also brought back all the memories I have of the people I worked with....Their bricks are there too and it was so cool to see how things panned out here years later. Miss you guys!

The rest of the day consisted of BBQ's and relaxing. Later that night Drew and I went to see Iron Man 2, which was good. 

Flew out the next morning in what was perhaps the longest flight I've had flying back to Raleigh, stops wise. 

Flew from OKC-Chicago-DC-Raleigh.

Sigh.

Is that really necessary?

Never has it been that crazy before.

Definitely went to Chipotle in Raleigh, all in the memory of my deployed hubs. :)

Miss him.

Myths & Tips

Thought this was interesting.
I'm not a huge egg fan, but this talked about several things I had always wondered.

Myths About Eggs


Found an equally as interesting article on juice. I heart juice. I had no idea that there was sooooo much sugar in juices. I knew  there was SOME but not a TON.

Check it out!

Worst Juices


OMG! I love this one! Take these common misconceptions and see what the experts say! Some of them don't apply to me, but some of them are awesome.

Health Rules You Can Bend

Pomegranate Martini's & Strawberry Mango Margaritas

This is a venting post.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
But it does prove that the simple pleasures in life are what can make days turn around.

It all started on my way to work.
I stopped by a post office, knowing it was still closed, needing to send a large envelope. All the other post office's in town have those automatic machines accessible even when they are closed so you can still send stuff.
Well apparently the one I went to, didn't. Ugh.
Crap.

Get to work, clock in, and get to my cubicle.
Not even ten minutes after I sat myself at my computer desk at work my phone goes off.
I had forgotten to turn the volume off on my phone when I walked in so "Telephone" from Lady Gaga bursted through the office. Fortunately for me, I get here so early there were only about 3 (out of 20?) fellow officemates that were jerked awake by my ring tone!
It was the alarm company for our house alarm stating that the door from the garage to the house had been compromised sending the alarm off, do I want them to send the police?
My first gut reaction was questioning her on whether the alarm really went off.
When everything was said and done I felt stupid for doing that, but hey, it felt like a fair question at the time.
I told her don't bother with the police I'll go back home and check it out myself.
Probably not the BEST idea considering my situation, but I didn't know what else to do. Although I tend to plan and think in a "worst case scenario" mindset, I also don't like to come off like I can't handle a weird situation, so off I go back to the house.
Which is a thirty minute drive from work. Twenty if there is no traffic (which is why I wake up at 5 AM every morning! I have the road to myself!).
I had just booted up my computer.
I had just poured a cup of coffee (I have been cheating a bit yes!).
And I had just pulled my instant oatmeal out of the microwave and had sat down to indulge.

I hop in my car and start to head home. I turn the radio off, I'm NOT in the mood, Kenny Chesney!
As I drive up to one of the first stop lights from my work where I need to turn, I see a truck on the side of the road hesitating to pull out in front of a car that is a good 100 yards ahead of me...he doesn't pull out in front of them so I assumed since there was so much space between me and that car that he'd pull in between us....right? Well, he did, but he waited to pull out when I was almost at that intersection myself causing me to come up on him pretty quickly. It is a 50 mph zone after all.
Just like any NC driver would, he slammed on his brakes to brake check me which sent everything in my car flying forward.
I said some extremely unpleasant things.
Not only did he brake check me he continued to the stop light going about 10 mph in a 50 mph zone on a single lane road just to piss me off. Throwing his hands in the air and ranting raving the whole time.
Awesome.

I get to the house, open the garage door, and peer into the garage from the driveway in my car.
The door isn't open from what I can see, so I go ahead and go up to it.
I push the door expecting it to swing open which would have set the alarm off, but nope. The door didn't budge.
So I turned the knob walked in to a hyper dog running circles through the house, Jax passed out asleep in the cat bed, and Bella was no where to be found.
First thing I checked was the TV.
Sad I know, but if you had a 58" brand new LCD HDTV that took up half your  living room, it'd be the first thing you'd check too!
Second thing I checked was the revolver that John got me.
Everything was in place.
Except I couldn't find Bella.
I searched and searched. I even broke out the cat treats which always works, but I couldn't find her. Jax was following me around at that point howling for his own cat treats...
Finally I found her frozen under my bed.
Poor baby girl. She is such a diva and such a girly girl I could only imagine how terrified she was from that alarm going off for who knows how long.
Anyways, after hanging out at the house for a little bit, making sure anything somewhat valuable was present, I got back in the car and headed back to work.
Since my breakfast was left on my desk and now no good, I stopped by Starbux to get some liquid encouragement :) and their oatmeal (SO GOOD by the way!!).
I drive up, the drive through isn't bad, so I get in line, I order and wait in line for about 10 minutes behind just 2 cars....ugh?
Finally I get up to the window and she tries to hand me a frapp and some type of cake/bread something rather....I ordered a mocha and the oatmeal.......When I told her that wasn't what I ordered she then said, "Oh, well, what DID you order?"
For real?
So I told her and I became "that" car that kept the line clogged up at the window waiting for my order.

Finally get back to work.
We're in the busy season right now, so there's stuff whirling around always hiccuping the normalcy of things.

After the long day I went to dinner with Stephanie, who had been wanting to go out for "fruity drinks" for a while now. She had her son almost 6 weeks ago and so off we went to find some grub and drinks.
We finally settled on Pomegranate Martini for me and Strawberry Mango Margarita for her.
With a straw. :)
Good times.

Anyways.
Doesn't sound like much of a vent, but my morning was psycho and of course it always seems ten times worse when there's no one to call to help.

TYL for Martini's and Margarita's to put a positive spin on a not-so-great day. ;)