Pomegranate Martini's & Strawberry Mango Margaritas

This is a venting post.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
But it does prove that the simple pleasures in life are what can make days turn around.

It all started on my way to work.
I stopped by a post office, knowing it was still closed, needing to send a large envelope. All the other post office's in town have those automatic machines accessible even when they are closed so you can still send stuff.
Well apparently the one I went to, didn't. Ugh.
Crap.

Get to work, clock in, and get to my cubicle.
Not even ten minutes after I sat myself at my computer desk at work my phone goes off.
I had forgotten to turn the volume off on my phone when I walked in so "Telephone" from Lady Gaga bursted through the office. Fortunately for me, I get here so early there were only about 3 (out of 20?) fellow officemates that were jerked awake by my ring tone!
It was the alarm company for our house alarm stating that the door from the garage to the house had been compromised sending the alarm off, do I want them to send the police?
My first gut reaction was questioning her on whether the alarm really went off.
When everything was said and done I felt stupid for doing that, but hey, it felt like a fair question at the time.
I told her don't bother with the police I'll go back home and check it out myself.
Probably not the BEST idea considering my situation, but I didn't know what else to do. Although I tend to plan and think in a "worst case scenario" mindset, I also don't like to come off like I can't handle a weird situation, so off I go back to the house.
Which is a thirty minute drive from work. Twenty if there is no traffic (which is why I wake up at 5 AM every morning! I have the road to myself!).
I had just booted up my computer.
I had just poured a cup of coffee (I have been cheating a bit yes!).
And I had just pulled my instant oatmeal out of the microwave and had sat down to indulge.

I hop in my car and start to head home. I turn the radio off, I'm NOT in the mood, Kenny Chesney!
As I drive up to one of the first stop lights from my work where I need to turn, I see a truck on the side of the road hesitating to pull out in front of a car that is a good 100 yards ahead of me...he doesn't pull out in front of them so I assumed since there was so much space between me and that car that he'd pull in between us....right? Well, he did, but he waited to pull out when I was almost at that intersection myself causing me to come up on him pretty quickly. It is a 50 mph zone after all.
Just like any NC driver would, he slammed on his brakes to brake check me which sent everything in my car flying forward.
I said some extremely unpleasant things.
Not only did he brake check me he continued to the stop light going about 10 mph in a 50 mph zone on a single lane road just to piss me off. Throwing his hands in the air and ranting raving the whole time.
Awesome.

I get to the house, open the garage door, and peer into the garage from the driveway in my car.
The door isn't open from what I can see, so I go ahead and go up to it.
I push the door expecting it to swing open which would have set the alarm off, but nope. The door didn't budge.
So I turned the knob walked in to a hyper dog running circles through the house, Jax passed out asleep in the cat bed, and Bella was no where to be found.
First thing I checked was the TV.
Sad I know, but if you had a 58" brand new LCD HDTV that took up half your  living room, it'd be the first thing you'd check too!
Second thing I checked was the revolver that John got me.
Everything was in place.
Except I couldn't find Bella.
I searched and searched. I even broke out the cat treats which always works, but I couldn't find her. Jax was following me around at that point howling for his own cat treats...
Finally I found her frozen under my bed.
Poor baby girl. She is such a diva and such a girly girl I could only imagine how terrified she was from that alarm going off for who knows how long.
Anyways, after hanging out at the house for a little bit, making sure anything somewhat valuable was present, I got back in the car and headed back to work.
Since my breakfast was left on my desk and now no good, I stopped by Starbux to get some liquid encouragement :) and their oatmeal (SO GOOD by the way!!).
I drive up, the drive through isn't bad, so I get in line, I order and wait in line for about 10 minutes behind just 2 cars....ugh?
Finally I get up to the window and she tries to hand me a frapp and some type of cake/bread something rather....I ordered a mocha and the oatmeal.......When I told her that wasn't what I ordered she then said, "Oh, well, what DID you order?"
For real?
So I told her and I became "that" car that kept the line clogged up at the window waiting for my order.

Finally get back to work.
We're in the busy season right now, so there's stuff whirling around always hiccuping the normalcy of things.

After the long day I went to dinner with Stephanie, who had been wanting to go out for "fruity drinks" for a while now. She had her son almost 6 weeks ago and so off we went to find some grub and drinks.
We finally settled on Pomegranate Martini for me and Strawberry Mango Margarita for her.
With a straw. :)
Good times.

Anyways.
Doesn't sound like much of a vent, but my morning was psycho and of course it always seems ten times worse when there's no one to call to help.

TYL for Martini's and Margarita's to put a positive spin on a not-so-great day. ;)

One Month DOWN!

Wow, it's been a little over a month now.
Cant' really say if it's gone by fast or slow, it's had it's fair share of moments, but boy am I glad the first one is out of the way!!

Within the last two weeks since my last post I have gained sympathy from my next door neighbor who is now my lawn mower hero. I came home from work one day last week when the doorbell rang. These neighbors have the last house on the street which really fits their lifestyle of being quiet and fly very low under the radar. I have met him maybe once or twice before, but know John has talked to him several times.
His wife is a nurse at our local hospital and he is retired and stays home all day.
When I answered the door he proclaimed, "I mowed your lawn for you."
Embarrasingly, I hadn't even noticed until he pointed it out.
Even more embarrassingly was that I wasn't sure if he mowed it to be nice or because it looked so bad!
I had actually called a landscaping company who was supposed to come out the next day. I told him they were going to charge me about $55 a trip for my puny little yard and he told me not to worry about it anymore and that he'd take care of the yards.
He also said that if I left the back yard gate unlocked he'd go back there the next day and mow the back too. My hero.
He also told me that part of my back fence blew down today and if I tossed the boards over the fence he'd fix them.
Well, another embarrassing moment, I didn't even KNOW part of the fence was down. I NEVER go out in our backyard, so Lord knows how long it was down like that.
The fence wasn't DOWN, but some boards that were loose already were blown down from the wind during the day.
We're in hurricane and tornado season here, so guess I need to pay better attention!!
Anyways, this neighbor said that his daughter is married to military so he knows how hard it can be-don't worry about mowing the yards, our yards are small enough and he has nothing else to do, so he'll mow my yards when he mows his.
I'm tempted to name my first born after this man. THAT'S how much of a burden he lifted off my shoulders.
Our stupid mower has been driving me nuts.
Through it all I did learn more about how mowers work, I learned to change a mower spark plug, I learned that mowers need oil AND gas....
Sigh.....obviously, as much as I like to be independent and take charge of things on my own, this is not ever going to be a strong suit of mine.
Oddly enough, I am ok with that.

Went to my second ever FRG meeting on the 22nd of April.
Family Readiness Group is almost a support group for families who have a deployed spouse/family member. It's main purpose is to be the medium between the soldiers and the families left behind. The Commander passes any news of anything going on through a SGT that stays behind to act as a FRG relay, if you will, to educate the families on what the soldiers are doing, where they are (if we're allowed to know), and any other news that may be applicable.
Christie, who is dating one of John's friends, drove down from Greensboro to go to the meeting too.
Although I had been to these meetings before, I hadn't been to one while the guys were deployed, so I wasn't sure what to expect.
There were three of us, besides the SGT, FRG leader and her minions.
There were counselors there from ACS who spent the hour and a half meeting talking to us about how to handle stress during deployments.

Although this isn't my first time at the rodeo, I did learn/notice some things about myself that they pointed out as stress coping mechanisms.
I learned that I have been lacking in the sleep area, I learned that I work too much, I learned that I DO too much (which I beg to differ!!) and that all these are ways that I deal with stress.
In other words, what I took out of it was, I work a lot and keep myself extremely busy so I don't have to deal with the emotional sides of this stuff.
Fine with me!
I'd rather be making money and losing weight than sitting at home moping around.
And it's NOT like I haven't had my moments.
During this whole lawn mower issue I cried several times because I felt so powerless!!
I've had "debbie downer" moments where I am bored and catch myself getting lazy.
So I just go walk the dog, or go work out, or cook something, catch up on GLEE, or FB stalk. ;)
As I always say, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Goodbye April, hello May.
Glad to see you and will be glad when your gone too. :)

Sixteen

Has it really only been two weeks?!
It feels like it's been a MONTH!

I am still going well all things considered.
I did find myself becoming a little lazy this weekend, but I don't feel bad about it.
At work we are in overdrive for the spring and summer season so I am working 6 days a week which becomes about 50-60 hours a week.
Hooray overtime and hooray for something to keep me busy!
I don't mind it at all and have totally embraced the pandemonium and turned it into project motivation.
When I first started  this job back in August of '09, I really came in at the end of the busy season. I worked maybe 2-3 weekends, but didn't mind them at all because of the previous job I had come from. The cash was definitely needed!
All my co-workers warned me of the Spring/Summer crazy times, so I was a little apprehensive when our boss announced that we were going to have to give up some of our weekend time.
However, the timing couldn't have been any more perfect for me.
It started the first weekend John was gone, and I've been so busy that I haven't had a chance to even reflect back. Which makes the phenomenon of only two weeks passing, surprising to me!

So what do I do to kill the time...
Well, when I am not facebook stalking, I am cleaning like an OCD person.
I've found that I have an alternative personality and she comes out when John is gone.
When he has gone to classes, the field, etc. in the past, he's come home to a rearranged living room, and maybe some new window treatments...
Well, I don't want to do that EVERY month, so I have found that cleaning has become my new obsession.

I also have started working out more and lately that's all I can think about.
When I am not working in the yard, walking the dog, or headed to the gym, that's ALL I can think about.
It's so weird from how I used to be.
When I quit playing soccer in 2005, I NEVER worked out.
When I quit soccer, I literally quit physical activity period.
I was kinda boycotting it.
I had done it so long and so much that I LOATHED it, so I never did it.
Luckily for me not being physically active didn't effect my weight until way after college.
But now it's almost become a bit of an obsession.
When I was getting ready to go to bed this last Friday I put together my gym bag for the next day so I could go work out after work on Saturday.
When I got to work and realized I had forgotten my gym bag, you would have thought I'd forgotten my child in the car.
I freaked out...My whole day's plan was thrown off balance because I didn't have my gym bag....
Kinda sad, but I am being honest!
I still have about 20 pounds I want to lose and I'm not going to lose it doing spin 2-3 times a week, I need to be more proactive, so I am going to start letting my obsession take over some.
I am going to go spy on a Body Pump class hopefully tomorrow to see how that class is run.
I am hoping it will be something that I can latch onto, like spin, that I will not only enjoy, but I will enjoy the results it gives me.

So I have been hearing from John quite a bit.
More often than I am used to, so it's kinda thrown me off.
Last deployment there were some months where I'd hear from him 1-2 times total!
So getting those 0-00-000-0000 calls from him 1-2 times a week sometimes makes me think something is wrong!

I also am getting emails from him which is amazing.
He HATES writing and he is kinda intimidated by emailing.
He didn't grow up, like a lot of us, with a computer in his home.
During college he always used the computer labs for homework or would use mine during open dorms.
He never had his own computer until last deployment when he bought a real nice one so he could download music for his iPod and has slowly educated himself on it over time.
Last deployment I think I may have gotten just a handful of emails from him during those 15 months and even those were just a couple sentences long. He HATES writing plus he didn't have a lot of time to write anything interesting and there were a lot of things he wasN'T ALLOWED to write about anyway, so his words were sparse to say the least, so we mostly communicated via phone.

The last email I got was yesterday.
He was SO excited because he is now at his permanent duty station in Iraq, one of his best friends is his roommate, they have AC, they have internet, and the cafeteria has tons of different varieties of food. :) And apparently it's a good variety of GOOD food. :)
I think I have mentioned before that he was not looking forward to this deployment because of their mission, but I think these aspects have swayed his thinking some.
I also think that having Stoffel there as his roommate will keep him sane and motivated.

Speaking of motivated, in one of J's last phone calls he talked to me about enrolling in some online college classes while over there.
He had already submitted the paperwork to his commander and was just waiting for the "go-ahead" to enroll. This is so awesome, because I know this is something that would be such a huge win for him if he could finish school.

Well John and I found out right before he left that we are going to be getting another little niece or nephew!! Danny and Karen called us not long before John left to let us know the news, but we weren't allowed to tell anyone. It was SO HARD!
I'm so happy for them though.
Audrey needs a little rock thrown into her world, or she'll end up spoiled like how I was!!
As of when they told us, she's due in November, so that puts Audrey and new baby almost 5 years apart...Drew and I were close to six, so they were cutting it close! ;)
I planned on going home for the holidays/my birthday anyways, so this will just be icing on the cake if the new baby is there then! I'm so excited!
Nieces and nephews are the greatest!

Hurley is starting to get used to the fact that dad is not home.
He still lays in our entry way if I am up and around, but he'll go to bed and stay now when I go, so that's progress!

The last two weeks I have been in a horrible battle with our lawn mower.
Last weekend I sat out front for half an hour pulling that stinkin cord and it would not give me anything.
Before you pepper me with comments of aide,:
-YES, it had gas.
-YES, I primed it.
-YES, I was holding the little lever thing down onto the handle
-NO, there is no choke lever, or whatever it's called....

Anywho, my neighbor, who had to be completely entertained by me trying for half an hour, came over and let me borrow her mower. I got the front and back done, so it was all good. Steve came over later and of course on his first try he got it to start. He gave me a couple pointers for next time, and I even finally started it on my own, so he left with me feeling pretty confident.
Well, we've been having HUGE pollen issues here in NC, so of course after my gold star moment, I spent that next week being so sick. I have never had allergies to anything before, so this was a first for me and I was miserable.
When I had mowed I also go SO SORE from it! The yards hadn't been mowed in at least two weeks or so, so the grass wasn't really tall, but it was crazy thick.
My butt muscles never hurt so bad!! I was pretty much doing lunges through my yards with a mower that was NOT self propelled. It was an awesome workout, but getting sick afterwards sucked!
Well this last weekend I was determined to not let it get that thick again, so armed with a mask and motivation I pulled the mower out again to mow....NOTHING.
I tried every trick Steve showed me and I couldn't get anything from it. I finally text Stephanie and she sends him over. Of course, AGAIN, on his first try he gets it to start.
I try a couple times and STILL can't get it to start for me.
He tried it again and it started giving HIM issues, so I am finally convinced it's the mower AND my lack of arm strength combined that is the problem.
He finally got it started where I could at least go ahead and mow.
I am about half way through my yard and it just putters to a stop.
Sigh.
I quit.
I think this time it might be kinda low on gas, so I am going to fill it up this week and try that.
If that doesn't help, then I think I am going to try to sell it and buy a new one that is easier for me to use.
The bummer is the mower isn't old!! We bought it brand new when we first moved our here, so maybe two years old??
I added another gold star for myself this week for more yard work. Since I couldn't get the mower to go my way, I went ahead and remulched the front flower beds.
My iris's are blooming and I am pumped! I planted them last fall and they finally shot up a couple weeks ago.
Awesomeness.
The bummer part of it is that the kids next door to us trampled through them last week and broke off one of the blooms thick stem. I was SO mad.
I don't know what to do about these neighbor kids.
I find so much junk food trash in my yard, and I swear it is not mine!
Tootsie pops, air head wrappers, popsicle sticks and wrappers.
I also have had one of the those motorized kid cars left in my driveway (it was a Barbie hummer, I almost stole it!!), scooters, footballs, bikes.....you name it, it's been in my yard or driveway.
IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!
I'm so glad these kids are playing outside.
Don't get me wrong.
But seriously?
Stay off my stuff!!!
They also have some little yappy dog they let loose out front WITHOUT a leash.
Someday something really bad is going to happen, I swear.
Some neighbor is going to run over a bike/kid.
One of our dog's is going to go after their dog since it's always loose....
Ugh...
I'm just WAITING for something to go down....

Anyways,  I think that is all for now.
Can't really think of anything else going on right now!!

Happy #2 Anniversary Jef & Laurie!!!

Day #4

Well, he's gone.

Boo!

Despite more drama on the 2nd, from John's soldier I mentioned in a previous post, the deployment send off went off without a hitch and baby was born in the process!
Friday was spent with John's soldier and also getting last minute stuff together.
I dropped John off at his company area a little after 8am on Saturday, the 3rd, where he had to drop off his "luggage" and check his soldiers out of the barracks, etc.
From there I actually went to the Hendrixson's apartment to pick up Steve's mom and drop her off at Womack Army Hospital on post.
Steve and John are both SGT's in the 108th and Steven's wife, Stephanie was 1 week overdue that Friday with their first baby.
Since no one was really sure when the baby would come and whether Steve would have deployed then or not, his mom came down from Jersey to help.
After I dropped her off I went home and in all my nervousness, went on a cleaning spree through the entire house cleaning and organizing the most random things.
Green Ramp good-byes were at 2pm so I had to keep myself busy!
Little before 2pm I headed to Pope AFB/Green Ramp to spend the next couple hours saying last goodbyes and for the deployment ceremonies.

As I have stated before, this experience at Green Ramp sending him AWAY, was a first for me. Last deployment he left the same weekend I graduated college, so I wasn't there then. I was at Green Ramp when he came home this last deployment, but those were much happier thoughts than the ones happening there at that time to say the least.
I was actually/surprisingly calm and collected for the majority of it.
John and I had both been ignoring all the mushiness & emotion for weeks now, so at times we just sat there in silence, taking it all in.
Mom's/wives were crying.
Dad's were shaking their soldiers hands and giving them hugs.
Little kids/babies were everywhere.
People even brought their dogs...RANDOM!
Not all of it was solemn.
There was plenty of laughter and and children screaming as their dads/moms were chasing them around for the last time.
Pretty crazy to watch.

I didn't really get emotional until the ceremonies started and they were all in formation.
So many faces.
So many friends.
So many fun memories.
More to come for sure, but a dark cloud definitely came over as they stood at attention in front of us.

After the ceremonies we got one final hour-ish to say our final goodbyes.
Before John came back up to me I remained in my seat that I had during the ceremonies.
I looked over and one of John's female soldiers was just a couple seats down from me. She's not deploying because of a injury last deployment.
She waved and asked how I was doing.
I had my sunglasses on, disguising my watery eyes during that stinkin' ceremony.
I just smiled and said I was good.
She laughed and was like, "Yeah, you've been there done this before huh? You're an expert."
I just smiled and nodded.
Inside I was like, yeah, right.
I almost felt sick inside when she said that.
I am by no means an expert and am not sure I want to aspire to be one in this area!

Anyways, John and I hung out for about another hour and then he started having to run around and find random soldiers for random stuff before boarding the plane. I got tired of following him around like a lost puppy, so we figured it was time to have me go ahead and go.
Gave him a big hug and of course started crying a bit again.
John told me that he likes it when I cry.
Seriously? Cause I cry all the time about the most random things and he doesn't look like he's having a great time then!

We said our words, and that was that, and I just had to turn and walk away.

I got to my car and lost it.
I hated being there in that car alone.
It felt so dark in there.
I kinda lost control for a second and just started gasping and hyperventilating.
Finally talked myself into control and started the drive home telling myself out loud, "You are strong. You can do this."
Kinda pathetic I know, but it worked!!

By the  time I got home it was about a quarter to five and I honestly felt fine.
Their flight was supposed to take off a little after five so I decided that my "deployment routine" needed to start right then and now... so I started prepping a meal for myself and took an awesome long hot shower. LOL.
I watched Dexter for HOURS that night making a couple of random phone calls in between episodes.
Baby Luke had not yet made his appearance into this world, so I just hung out with my kiddos at the house.
That night when I went to bed I got the text message from Steph that she was going in for a C-section that night/morning. Exciting!
By the time I woke up Easter morning I had some picture messages on my phone of the little guy-Lucas Steven.
SUCH a cutie.

Went to church that morning by myself.
Very humbling, esp since it was Easter.
I couldn't sit still for anything.
My mind was all over the place and I couldn't concentrate anything that was going on.
Random times my eyes would tear up for no reason...

Sigh.
I remember all these feelings from last time. Ugh.
Went to Walmart afterwards. Got all my items, got in line, put my stuff up on the counter, and realized I didn't have my wallet.
Suck.
Ran back home, got the wallet, and finally got my stuff...

Went to Womack to see baby Luke, then made it back home to figure out what to do with myself for the rest of the evening.
I finished laundry, some of which was John's stuff.
I never put his clothes away, so I didn't know what to do with his stuff!
They are still in a neat pile on his dresser until I have time to go through his drawers and figure out where they go!

I was absolutely dying to go back to work on Monday.
I couldn't wait to get something to dive my brain into.

Hurley isn't adjusting very well.
When John is home, we'll tell him to "go to bed" and he'll beeline to his bed and cuddle into a little cute ball.
Well, this week he'll go to bed when I tell him to, but when I get into bed and turn out the light, he'll get out of bed and go into our living room. He'll sit in the entry way of the house facing the front door. I think he's thinking John's having some late nights and is going to be coming home late so he's waiting for him.... :(
Even when I am in the living room watching TV or something he'll lay down in the entry way by the door and just watch the door.
It's so sad, it breaks my heart.
I don't know if I can handle having REAL kids....sigh....
The cats are cool so far.
Bella could honestly care less anyways, and Jax will cuddle with anyone that will give him the time of day. So, so far, they are adjusting well.

I've gone back to spin full time and have hit it hard.
I've upped my warm up run to just shy of two miles in about 20 minutes.
Pretty proud.
On Monday I got a lot of aggression out in spin and I am STILL sore today from it....
IT's worth it though, right?! :)

Talked to John on Tuesday. He was in Kuwait.
So far so good.
Phone cut out a couple times but overall it was good.

It's hard to remember how all this works....

Ten

Ten.
Ten days.
Ten days until he is gone.

Man how the time has flown by.
This time last month I was counting down the days until pre-deployment leave and our trip to CO to see the fam.
It's all craziness!!
The last week of his leave was really just a smorgasbord of random things that were needing to be done prior to him leaving.
The beginning of his last week of leave he got a stomach bug that had been going around which made him out of commission for the first half of his last week of leave.
Along with buying guns, selling cars, etc. we also managed to go to a gun range again, and yes, I shot the revolver.
It was just as loud as I remember and I tell ya, it hurt my arm to shoot it!
According to John, the "kick" isn't bad at all.
In other words, I am a weak person.
I'm ok with that.
The first time I pulled the gun up, pointed at my target, and shot it, it scared me so bad I immediately dropped it back down on the table and jumped back from it like a hot potato.
The burning smell was gross and there was black residue all over my hands.
EW.
After the first shot sensation wore off, I was able to finish shooting all the rounds, unload the brass (I feel smart when I type all this), reload six rounds and fire them as well.
After that, I was spent.
At least I did it!!
I thought about having J take a picture of me shooting or of the target, but once I started shooting that was the last thing on my mind.

On Saturday, the 20th, I went to spin class.

I went to spin that day angry and needing to let some aggression out.

I've been holding in a lot of emotion about this deployment coming up because getting worked up over it won't solve anything.

I have been extremely inconsistent this month with spin and I feel horribly guilty inside.
I'm averaging about once a week right now which is BAD.
I have great excuses, like my husband was on leave, that's our version of vacation.
My husband is deploying for a year, I want to hang out with him, etc.
Really 45 minutes of being going won't kill me, I've just not made the best decisions.

While at spin, about 3-4 songs/15 minutes into it, I got really light headed all of the sudden.
Jumped off the bike and booked it to the locker room where I threw up.
Not cool.
I hadn't eating anything that day yet ( I know, I know) so really it was just water and spit, but I felt HORRIBLE.
I had a feeling I had caught the stomach bug J had the week before, so I just sat there on the cold tile floor in the locker room and had a little pity party.
While sitting on that floor I just cried.
I REALLY needed it, believe it or not.
It only lasted about 2 minutes.
I stood up, dusted myself off and went back into the spin room and finished the class, another thing that I think might not have been the greatest idea ever, but "A" for effort.

That afternoon is when we went to the range, then we ran home so I could get ready to go to Jeanette's Bridal/House Warming Shower I was helping host along with her mom and her two aunts.
I was still feeling REALLY blah, so I was pretty quiet during the whole thing.
Probably came across snotty, but I didn't feel good!
Even though I had thrown up earlier that day, the sushi her aunt made was calling me so I had to indulge.
The next day I felt much better. We ran errands and did some stuff around the house since this was now his last weekend of leave. By the time we went to bed that Sunday night, I felt so sick.
I felt like I had a billion butterflies in my stomach.
I woke up about 11 pm and it was on.
I was running to the bathroom about every half hour or so from 11pm until about 4am just throwing up anything and everything.
I can honestly say that I don't think I ever got this sick in college, so it's HAD to be a LONG time since it was this bad.
Like, high school!
I stayed home from work on Monday and can honestly say with no embarrassment what-so-ever that I laid on the couch and watched TV ALL day.
I wasn't throwing up anymore but had the part where you have chills but your sweating, your entire body hurts to the touch, etc.
Took a scalding hot shower and had goosebumps the entire time.
Went to bed before 9pm Monday night and woke up at 5am in attempts to go into work that morning. Didn't work.
Went back to bed for another 5 hours, giving me about 15 hours of sleep in a row.
Glorious.
From that point on, I've felt so much better.

The McNew's are coming today! They were our neighbors that moved to AZ several months ago. They are coming for a mini vaca and to see some old friends off before they deploy. They get in tonight sometime so it'll be a fun weekend for all of us.
It's also John's last weekend home, so it'll be bittersweet, but FUN!

Next Tuesday will be John's and my 2 year anniversary!
Fun times.
Don't have plans as of right now, and honestly I don't think we will since we'll be going out with friends a lot this weekend.

Man this is all coming up so freaking fast.
I'm hoping that this means that the next year will go by fast too.
I plan on working a lot.
Working out a lot.
Making several trips to keep myself occupied.
The ones planned so far is a trip to DC with my dearest, Kristen. :)
Then my cousin, Aaron's, college graduation from SNU in OKC.
More trips home for sure (that's for you all you CO people I miss so much!).
And of course Kristen and I are still contemplating a trip to the UK to visit Dana. :)

Some of you have voiced about coming to see ME and just so you know, that would be so amazing.
No words can describe how much it would mean to me for any of you to visit me out here!!
There's not much to do out here, but the beach is always close by and shoot, I live in a Army town.
There's always some type of trouble to get into. :)

The next time I write will probably be after John has left and this blog will finally be my venting station for which it was originally intended.....craziness....!!

More Changes

Well since I last wrote, we have experienced even more changes around here.

1. We DID end up selling our car, but not to the co-worker I referenced to earlier.
2. The buyer paid CASH so our car lien is paid, title got here in the mail today, and we are now a 1 car payment couple!!
3. We have a savings plan set up to buy car #2 when John gets home.
4. We are in our final days of John's predeployment leave as opposed to the early days.
5. The time has gone by fast.
6. There actually IS a queen size guest bed in our guest bedroom which had not been seen in months thanks to the explosion of military gear in that extra room as well as the original box our 56" LCD HDTV came in!

What else is going on......

I am training my second employee at work.
As much as I take on this task as a form of flattery, it came at rough timing.
On Monday, our office manager, counted that I was one of five people left in our department of about 25 that hadn't gotten the flu or some type of cold/bronchitis bug going around...
Thanks Yvonne.
I woke up that next morning with my throat so swollen I could barely swollow and my head was SO congested.
So far I've doubled up on the vitamins, been sleeping propped up on two pillows, and have been drinking TONS of tea and water.
The new girl at work, Kat, probably thinks I have bladder control issues because I seriously have to pee every half hour or so from drinking water so much....
Def won't hurt me that's for sure!!

We bought a GUN!!!
I don't know what kind it is and I don't know anything about it, all I know is it's a black revolver.
It's not the type of gun John pictured for his first gun buy, but it was something mainly meant for me while he is gone, God forbid.
We all know how my last experience went at the gun range, so we are going to try to find an outdoor range this weekend, and I'm just going to have to "soldier up."   :)
Will def let you all know how THAT goes.

Our dear friends the McNews are coming to town!!
They used to be our next door neighbors until a several months ago when they got PCS'd to Arizona.
They were in the 108th MP Co. with John and all his friends and deployed with them last time.
They are coming for a slight mini vaca and also to see their friends off for this deployment.
Even though we'll all be working for some of the days they will be here, we are hoping for some fun memories and def some hibachi and sushi!!

These final days are also becoming very surreal to me.
The closer it gets the more I choose to ignore what's looming ahead of me.
He's scheduled to leave the first week or two of April.
Our 2 year anniversary is on the 30th of March.
So many things happening...!!
Some things good, some things bad.
Well, not BAD, but not really good.

We have a lot of goals for ourselves during this trivial time coming up.
Mostly financial goals, such as getting rid of about 3/4 of our debt, saving up to pay cash for our second car, we both have IRA's set up as well as my 401K we plan on vesting a good chunk of change into, we plan on taking advantage of the military savings program to make our money work for us for once!

I still have my personal goals as far as my health/weight.
Since the beginning of blogging where I listed out my weight, measurements, etc., I know I have lost roughly 10-15 pounds. I haven't gotten remeasured, but I notice a difference for sure, esp in my waist.
My jeans are a bit looser and my shirts aren't as tighter as they once were. :)
I am still aiming to lose about 20 pounds and I think that weight will allow me to keep my curves yet still be a healthier weight. It's not exactly my wedding weight, it's about 10 lbs over, but I'm ok with that. If I lose more, cool, if not, that's ok!

I'll admit I am worried how my mentality will be once he's gone and I finally realize he's not coming back any time soon. Last deployment I had a REALLY hard time with it.
I think part of it was a lot of other changes that were going on at the time.
I graduated college the same week as he left.
I moved home with my parents like every college grad DREAMS of (sarcasm).
I was engaged and needing to plan a wedding without any involvement of John.

I HATED it when people asked me "how I was doing."

Yes, John is deployed.
Yes, it sucks.
No, I DON'T want to talk about it.
When I do, I'll come to YOU.

Needless to say I went and saw the doc and after some tests I was told I had mild depression.
I have never been on to take pills for anything.
I hate going to the doctor.
I feel like I am a big girl and I can deal with big girl issues.
What I didn't realize is that this experience was way over my head, and I had NO control.
That was REALLY hard for me.
With some reluctance I got on some anti depressant meds and it made a WORLD of difference.
I hated that those pills is what it took, but I won't lie, they helped a ton.

Once John got home I went back to the doc and started weining myself off the medicine.
The withdrawls were HORRIBLE.
Danielle McNew can attest to that!!
We'd be grocery shopping and randomly it felt like my brain had a power surge and shorted or something, cause I'd suddenly not remember what I was doing, where I was, or what I was saying.
I had the chills, but was so hot.
Horrible headaches.
Cranky!

Took about two months to get completely off of it, and what a relief it was.
At one time I considered getting back on them.
After moving to NC and settling in a bit, I grabbed the first job that would give me a consistant paycheck.
I struggled with it in so many ways.
I started getting REALLY low self esteem and would come home almost everyday in tears cause I hated it so much.
I actually attribute that experience to my weight gain in some ways.
The only thing that made me happy was hanging out with my pets and my husband.
The hubs and I entertained ourselves the most by not only eating out, but splurging on really unhealthy foods because, as lame as it sounds, I felt entitled to it.
I felt like I had put up with a real crappy week, therefore I am entitled to this queso dip, dinner, and the cheesecake afterwards.
Plus, I have always been a horrible snacker.

Looking back on it now, I'm not only glad I don't have that job anymore, but I'm glad I never got back on those pills.

I know that I'm headed for a long year and I know that it's going to have so many inconsistant ups and downs.

I think I have mentioned before that this deployment has a couple firsts for me.

Last deployment I was in my hometown so I was surrounded by my amazing family and friends to keep me sane.

I have made some great friends here, but it's not home. If that makes any sense!

I was planning a wedding to marry my best friend so I obsessed over this wedding which occupied a lot of my time in multiple ways.

I had my princess Bella to great me at the door everyday when I came home from work.

Now I have Hurley running to the door to greet me, running over Bella AND Jax in the process!! :)

I those furry kids of mine.

Sadly, they are some of the best entertainment money has ever bought for me! US!!

I know there are more, but I can't think of them right now. If I remember I'll post them next time....

Well, here's to the next year and to the survival of the fittest.
This is to all my other Army wives of the 108th MP Co that are going to be surviving with me.
We can do this because we've done it before.

Here's to hoping that the time goes by quickly!!!

My motto from last deployment that I think still pertains to me for this one:

"Distance isn't for the fearful, it is for the bold. It is for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It is for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don't get to see it nearly enough."

Change

Well this time last week I was frantically packing for a quick getaway to CO with the hubs attempting to not tempt myself to stay up late to watch LOST knowing we had a 6 AM flight the next morning.
Needless to say we avoided temptation and went to bed early.
We boarded Hurley at our vet's and took off EARLY in the morning for Raleigh.
Unfortunately for us we didn't take into account that the "snow" storm coming in that night would actually accumulate to anything, so we entered our terminals with only half an hour to spare til take off.
Yes, I said terminals.
Plural.
When I bought these tickets I thought I was being an awesome planner by buying them seperately.
I planned on only staying in CO through the weekend where John was going to stay one full week.
Both leaving from Raleigh on the same day, just coming home on different days.
Naively I assumed since we were leaving on the same day from Raleigh that we'd still be on the same flight.
Def wrong.
Both our planes left at the same time, but he was flown to Detriot then Denver where I was flown to Dallas/FW to Denver.
Of course a delay in Raleigh for de-icing our planes made John almost miss his Detriot-Denver connection but he still managed to get there about an hour and a half before me. How that all worked I don't know.
When having to explain our seperate flight story, we've just told people that we don't play well in tight spaces, so we flew seperately. ;)

My dad picked us up at DIA and immediately hit up Chipotle.
John is hopeless.
Since my dad had to run to a meeting John had to eat in the car, that hopefully gives you a clue how obsessed he is with those stinkin burritos.
Dad dropped us off at my mom and dad's house where I patiently ate my burrito on a table as opposed to my lap.

We walked across the street to visit GG (my grandma!) and see her new house.
We ended up staying at her house for several hours just talking about everything.
I absolutely adore this lady. Luckily John is an awesome sport and she thinks he's great, so it was fun!
She's an 84 year old ball of spunk and although she's convinced that she's deteriorating, I think she's awesome and I hope I have her spirit at that age.
We then trekked to the other end of town to see John's mom whom he hasn't seen since our wedding TWO years ago.
It was great and you could tell that she was just thrilled.

Next day we met up with John's mom, his bro, Jerrod, as well as Karen, our sis in law, and our now 4 year old niece, Audrey, for breakfast at IHOP.

FOUR years old!

I couldn't believe it. He also hadn't seen here since our wedding, so this was probably the last mental picture he had in his mind. :)

She ran up to him just laughing away and gave him the biggest hug I have ever seen from a little one.
Once she let go she kept laughing and stated, "You're cute."
Oh geez.
It's begun at the young age of four.
It was a great breakfast and it was so awesome to see John in such a state of awe.
Audrey was just talking away about anything and everything and he couldn't do anything but sit and smile for the most part.
Last time he saw her she was hardly speaking whole words, so this was an awesome transition to see. :)

After this we went up to Golden Bell in Divide, CO where my dad is now working.
Let me tell ya, being away from CO for two years has kicked my BUTT altitude wise.
OMG.
I got winded getting out of the CAR.
Sadly, no joke.
Anyways, after eating out in Woodland Park, we went back into COS and picked up Audrey from her babysitters and went to spoil her at the toy store.
Dangerous for an uncle that hasn't seen her in a while
DANGEROUS!
One Barbie, pink tiara, and dress up mermaid outfit later, we actually had to hit up the Cingular store where we witnessed another shameless bout of flirting from this little bundle of joy.
My phone literally died while at the toy store and before the trip we found out I was up for a free upgrade, so figured let's go ahead and do this.
We had a sit down with Audrey and told her that if she behaved for a little bit while we got this business done we'd take her to the McDonald's play place and let her play.
Well after a while she got restless and that's where it all began.
She walked up to the salesman (whom J and I went to high school with by the way) and said with batting eyelashes, "I like your shirt."
He laughed and offered to get her a balloon.
"Ok, but it has to be pink," she responds.
Oh really. WOW.
So he came back out with a PINK balloon and handed it to her.
"What do you say Audrey?" I asked.
"Thanks guy," she says.
"Audrey, his name is Steve, say thank you Steve."
"Hi Steve!" She says coily as she WINKS at him.
OMG.
It suddenly occured to me that Steve probably think's his is MY kid.
I told him that she wasn't but he didn't believe me.
Well two hours at the McDonald's play place later, we returned Audrey to her rightful "owners"  and headed out to Scott and Katie Hyskell's home for dinner.

Scott and Katie are our best friends from high school.
True story, Scott and John grew up on the same street along with another kid, Casey, since elementary school.
Well all three of these boys married Katie's.
Go figure.

Scott and Katie had bought their first house within the last year so we were SO excited to see the new digs.
It was so great.
Scott's mom and dad also came over with one of Scott's nieces and nephew.
Mr. & Mrs. Hyskell were like John's second parents, so it was great to see them see each other again.
We ended up staying at their house until after midnight (past 2 AM east coast time!) just talking, laughing, and reminiscing about old times.

Next morning I went to breakfast with a girlfriend from ELEMENTARY school, Lexi Butler.
Man I love that girl.
We've known each other since 2nd grade and although we haven't always been close ALL these years, we have always managed to pick up where we last left off and have a BLAST just talking and reminiscing about more old times.
We met up at the most awesome "cafe," Montigues which was a fave in high school. Love it.

For the rest of the day I hung out with the amazing Kristen Cook, whom I've known for about 5-6 years now thanks to our wonderful Dana Fraley (my college roommates and Golden Bell counselor with Dana).
We went to Park Meadows where I was reminded of what a REAL mall feels and looks like.
Yes, that was meant to be offensive Fayetteville.
We met up with my mom later and picked up my bro from DIA who was coming home for Spring Break. Kristen is like another sister (whether he likes it or not!) to him so all four of us went out to eat and had a great time just hanging out.
LOTS of laughter and fun times.
Drew, mom, and I checked into a hotel in Denver that night, so I would already be in Denver for my 6 AM flight the next morning.
With a 3:30 wake up call and a shuttle ride to the airport, I was on my way back to NC.

Once I got home that Saturday afternoon I was able to collect my thoughts and look back on my crazy quick trip.
I saw who I wanted, what I wanted, where I wanted.
As much as it all felt the same it also felt so different.
I'll be honest and tell you it was the weirdest thing to get into bed with John in my parents house let alone two doors down from them.
Buildings, restaraunts, landmarks I had always known and seen were gone or being torn down for expanding roads and highways.
As many things were different there were still a lot of the same.
Same friends. Same family. Same stories.
Good times.
Those are the things I'll make more crazy trips back for.

I wouldn't miss it or the shameless four year old flirting for the world.