More Changes

Well since I last wrote, we have experienced even more changes around here.

1. We DID end up selling our car, but not to the co-worker I referenced to earlier.
2. The buyer paid CASH so our car lien is paid, title got here in the mail today, and we are now a 1 car payment couple!!
3. We have a savings plan set up to buy car #2 when John gets home.
4. We are in our final days of John's predeployment leave as opposed to the early days.
5. The time has gone by fast.
6. There actually IS a queen size guest bed in our guest bedroom which had not been seen in months thanks to the explosion of military gear in that extra room as well as the original box our 56" LCD HDTV came in!

What else is going on......

I am training my second employee at work.
As much as I take on this task as a form of flattery, it came at rough timing.
On Monday, our office manager, counted that I was one of five people left in our department of about 25 that hadn't gotten the flu or some type of cold/bronchitis bug going around...
Thanks Yvonne.
I woke up that next morning with my throat so swollen I could barely swollow and my head was SO congested.
So far I've doubled up on the vitamins, been sleeping propped up on two pillows, and have been drinking TONS of tea and water.
The new girl at work, Kat, probably thinks I have bladder control issues because I seriously have to pee every half hour or so from drinking water so much....
Def won't hurt me that's for sure!!

We bought a GUN!!!
I don't know what kind it is and I don't know anything about it, all I know is it's a black revolver.
It's not the type of gun John pictured for his first gun buy, but it was something mainly meant for me while he is gone, God forbid.
We all know how my last experience went at the gun range, so we are going to try to find an outdoor range this weekend, and I'm just going to have to "soldier up."   :)
Will def let you all know how THAT goes.

Our dear friends the McNews are coming to town!!
They used to be our next door neighbors until a several months ago when they got PCS'd to Arizona.
They were in the 108th MP Co. with John and all his friends and deployed with them last time.
They are coming for a slight mini vaca and also to see their friends off for this deployment.
Even though we'll all be working for some of the days they will be here, we are hoping for some fun memories and def some hibachi and sushi!!

These final days are also becoming very surreal to me.
The closer it gets the more I choose to ignore what's looming ahead of me.
He's scheduled to leave the first week or two of April.
Our 2 year anniversary is on the 30th of March.
So many things happening...!!
Some things good, some things bad.
Well, not BAD, but not really good.

We have a lot of goals for ourselves during this trivial time coming up.
Mostly financial goals, such as getting rid of about 3/4 of our debt, saving up to pay cash for our second car, we both have IRA's set up as well as my 401K we plan on vesting a good chunk of change into, we plan on taking advantage of the military savings program to make our money work for us for once!

I still have my personal goals as far as my health/weight.
Since the beginning of blogging where I listed out my weight, measurements, etc., I know I have lost roughly 10-15 pounds. I haven't gotten remeasured, but I notice a difference for sure, esp in my waist.
My jeans are a bit looser and my shirts aren't as tighter as they once were. :)
I am still aiming to lose about 20 pounds and I think that weight will allow me to keep my curves yet still be a healthier weight. It's not exactly my wedding weight, it's about 10 lbs over, but I'm ok with that. If I lose more, cool, if not, that's ok!

I'll admit I am worried how my mentality will be once he's gone and I finally realize he's not coming back any time soon. Last deployment I had a REALLY hard time with it.
I think part of it was a lot of other changes that were going on at the time.
I graduated college the same week as he left.
I moved home with my parents like every college grad DREAMS of (sarcasm).
I was engaged and needing to plan a wedding without any involvement of John.

I HATED it when people asked me "how I was doing."

Yes, John is deployed.
Yes, it sucks.
No, I DON'T want to talk about it.
When I do, I'll come to YOU.

Needless to say I went and saw the doc and after some tests I was told I had mild depression.
I have never been on to take pills for anything.
I hate going to the doctor.
I feel like I am a big girl and I can deal with big girl issues.
What I didn't realize is that this experience was way over my head, and I had NO control.
That was REALLY hard for me.
With some reluctance I got on some anti depressant meds and it made a WORLD of difference.
I hated that those pills is what it took, but I won't lie, they helped a ton.

Once John got home I went back to the doc and started weining myself off the medicine.
The withdrawls were HORRIBLE.
Danielle McNew can attest to that!!
We'd be grocery shopping and randomly it felt like my brain had a power surge and shorted or something, cause I'd suddenly not remember what I was doing, where I was, or what I was saying.
I had the chills, but was so hot.
Horrible headaches.
Cranky!

Took about two months to get completely off of it, and what a relief it was.
At one time I considered getting back on them.
After moving to NC and settling in a bit, I grabbed the first job that would give me a consistant paycheck.
I struggled with it in so many ways.
I started getting REALLY low self esteem and would come home almost everyday in tears cause I hated it so much.
I actually attribute that experience to my weight gain in some ways.
The only thing that made me happy was hanging out with my pets and my husband.
The hubs and I entertained ourselves the most by not only eating out, but splurging on really unhealthy foods because, as lame as it sounds, I felt entitled to it.
I felt like I had put up with a real crappy week, therefore I am entitled to this queso dip, dinner, and the cheesecake afterwards.
Plus, I have always been a horrible snacker.

Looking back on it now, I'm not only glad I don't have that job anymore, but I'm glad I never got back on those pills.

I know that I'm headed for a long year and I know that it's going to have so many inconsistant ups and downs.

I think I have mentioned before that this deployment has a couple firsts for me.

Last deployment I was in my hometown so I was surrounded by my amazing family and friends to keep me sane.

I have made some great friends here, but it's not home. If that makes any sense!

I was planning a wedding to marry my best friend so I obsessed over this wedding which occupied a lot of my time in multiple ways.

I had my princess Bella to great me at the door everyday when I came home from work.

Now I have Hurley running to the door to greet me, running over Bella AND Jax in the process!! :)

I those furry kids of mine.

Sadly, they are some of the best entertainment money has ever bought for me! US!!

I know there are more, but I can't think of them right now. If I remember I'll post them next time....

Well, here's to the next year and to the survival of the fittest.
This is to all my other Army wives of the 108th MP Co that are going to be surviving with me.
We can do this because we've done it before.

Here's to hoping that the time goes by quickly!!!

My motto from last deployment that I think still pertains to me for this one:

"Distance isn't for the fearful, it is for the bold. It is for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It is for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don't get to see it nearly enough."