Pre Deployment Leave

So, as with other deployments, one thing that's not different is that we still got a pre deployment leave.
It started the 4th of September and ended September 25th, 2012.
He was SO close to being here for her 8 mos birthday. :(
The first week of leave really just consisted of us all getting to CO, preferably in one piece.
With one cat carrier handle being the only real casualty of the move, I say success was ours.
As mentioned in the prior post, the first real big thing we did is have Brynlee's dedication & BBQ which was an absolute blast.
What I never mentioned about it is how awful the timing of it was!
Not only did I schedule it for days after we arrived, which really was just insane on my part, but my mother's aunt passed away a few weeks prior and had the memorial service scheduled for the same weekend. Lots of weird emotions running that weekend for the whole house.

Prior to baby life, we have always spent pre deployment leaves, mid tour leaves, and post deployment leaves as a free for all when it comes to entertainment.
"Usually" budgets go out the window and it's one giant spending spree on knocking out the "I MUST do this before I deploy" bucket list.
Some of this includes my participation, some of it includes my permission, haha.
We did a lot of family stuff, but I also kicked John out the door to hang out with the guys and do "man" things with his brothers and friends.

Some things on the aforementioned bucket list are easy peasy, such as eat at Chipotle for every other meal, eat at PF Changs for all other meals, eat a lot of Cold Stone ice cream, and generally just hit up any other restaurants we've been neglected from while in NC. We went and saw the new Batman movie, SANS baby which was a biggy for us!
John went out with his brother's and Scott for a guys day where they went ATVing and off-roading. We had lots of BBQ's, dinners with friends, and lots of baby adjustments when it came to meeting all these new people including family.
This year we added some "real" biggy's that definitely stretched our limits when it came to baby tolerance.
I just have to put in here that Bryn has adjusted BEAUTIFULLY and amidst all the chaos and change of time zones, she has been SUCH a trooper and couldn't have asked for anything better.
Even when she was screaming crying, most the time it was 100% warranted so we didn't stress about it.

One highlight was going up Pikes Peak.
I've driven and rode up the Peak, but somehow in John's entire life of being born and raised in CO has never gone to the top, so it was a must.
Connie, John's mom, went with us and overall Brynlee was a TOTAL trooper.
We sat across from three older ladies from PA who by the end of our train journey were accepted into the Brynlee "you may hold me " club.

Another bucket list must was that we got family pictures taken.
I know it seems like all that's ever posted on FB is professional pictures of some sort, but these pictures were extra special and honestly were more for John and Brynlee than anyone.
Bryn's 6 month pictures were originally planned to be family pictures, but the Army came a'callin and John couldn't do them with us so it became a mother-daughter/baby picture day.
Considering John's pre deployment training and schedule, we hadn't had family pictures together since she was 5 days old, so it was LONG overdue.
These pictures are for him to have on deployment and for her to have and see her daddy while he's gone, so the pictures consisted mainly of the three of us, then the two of them this time. They turned out GREAT (have I ever mentioned how amazing our photographer here in the Springs is? Holly Pacione did our wedding and I am just thrilled we are working together again now that we are three!).

Holly Pacione Photography.

Holly Pacione Photography.

We ended leave on a huge bang by surprising John with Denver Broncos tickets.

Matching Bronco gear of COURSE!

He'd never been to any professional sporting event ever, so this was a biggy and I got extremely giddy over how it all panned out.
I hadn't been to a Bronco game since high school, so it felt like a new experience for me too!
The day before the game I contacted the Broncos letting them know about John deploying and that we were going to be at the game, etc.
I got a call back within an hour from a girl named Amanda that was actually born and raised at Fort Bragg, NC and was there just last week when her brother came home with the 82nd. She said she could actually get us on the field during the American flag pledge of allegiance and for the Air Force fly over!
I was SO stoked.
We were SO stoked.
I won't lie, I gave myself some major wife kudos for that one.

Practice makes perfect!

AMAZING experience. 

The night before the game was a hard one.
I stayed on my parents main floor in a baby cleaning frenzy (it's my de-stressor) while John put his baby girl to bed for the last time.
One thing you learn really quickly with the military lifestyle is that every deployment is different and brings it's own set of challenges.
This one is no exception to that rule.
Not only is John going to Afghanistan this time as opposed to Iraq like the last 2 deployments, but leaving behind his baby girl has proved to be the hardest thing ever for BOTH of us.
There are no words or warning that can ever explain this feeling.
How would you spend your last bedtime with your baby??
I let them have their bedtime rituals alone so he could have his face time, but it made me ache all over. Just knowing what was going through his mind as he was up there with her....I could never walk away, and I hate the fact that this time it's not just me he's walking away from.
We both are feeling a loss for her, lots of tears and anxiety....her smiley self has no idea the hurt we are feeling for her and never want her to feel.
It's the hardest burden I have ever carried in my almost 28 years of life and I don't wish it on anyone.
It's gotten to the point where we cope better not to talk about it or focus on it.
Ignorance is bliss??
I don't know, but as of right now it's working for me.
Any of my friends that have experienced a deployment with me before know that the best way I cope is to consume myself with so many distractions that I don't have a choice but to not talk about it or focus on it.
In order to ignore what was looming ahead we spent his last day in CO in Denver at the Broncos vs. Texans game and had an absolute blast.
If they had won, it woulda been better, but ya know...you win some you lose some.
We went to LODO after the game to Cheesecake Factory and went to DIA.
His flight was at 1 am (his idea not mine!) and of course with all the pandemonium going on in my brain I had bought the tickets for the wrong day causing us to pay about $200 in fees to get him on that night's flight.
Def helped leaving on a good note, right?
Right.....
We sat in DIA for a couple hours eating cheesecake and looking over the pictures we took from the game, honestly just wasting time not wanting to say goodbye.

Well, obviously the goodbyes took place, cause here I am.....and there he is, leaving NC the end of this week.
I won't lie, I kinda prefer green ramp goodbyes now that I have had done an airport goodbye.
At least at green ramps, misery loves company??
Walking away alone in the airport is just miserable.
Plus the parking garage is scarier at midnight at DIA by yourself....just a future mental note.

If I could press anything to anyone, military or not, please tell/show your babies how much you love them and spend all the free time that you have with them.
Even when you are tired, been working all day, the kitchen is a mess, laundry not folded, animals not fed---it can wait.
Our little family is blessed in so many ways and here I go, against my nature, fighting the "feeling sorry for myself" blues, but as cliche as it sounds, please hug your babies a little tighter and a little longer when you put them in bed tonight...there are lot of daddies and mommies out there that won't get too and are sacrificing everything so that theirs is safe at home without them.
Deployment #3 here we go.....