First let's start off with a couple of AWESOME things that have happened this week.
As most of you know, John was injured during his Special Forces Selection and has been battling this hip injury since October.
Well as of this week no surgery is needed, they amplified his physical therapy routines to build strength, and good news for John is that he CAN deploy.
Hooray. (**sarcasm**)
Secondly, we found a buyer for John's car.
We were SO torn on what to do with this car during his deployment and went back and forth until we were dizzy on what to do.
The whole thought process is why pay for two car payments and two car's worth of full coverage insurance if the car isn't even going to be used for a year??
But then there was the question of, well, we are somewhat close to having it paid off, is it worth spending the money to eventually have a paid off car....??
Well then we found out we had negative equity in the car, so it slowly became a no brainer.
I talked to my mom constantly about all the options we had come up with and when I told her we decided to sell it, she prayed with me over the phone for a "miracle" that the car would be sold quickly, without TOO much money out of our pockets, and before John deployed.
Well, turns out a co-worker was looking for a car in this car's price range and so I only had the car advertised for sale for less than 72 hours. :)
God is good and proves to me again what little control I really do have over things.
And I am ok with that. :)
On to the not so fun stuff.
Tomorrow is the last day of February and signifies a chapter in my life that is about to begin.
John's pre-deployment leave starts on Monday, the 1st of March.
For any of you not familiar with the military way, pre-deployment leave is literally about three weeks vacation you get RIGHT before you deploy. Typically once this leave is over they'll be gone within 1-2 weeks.
Bittersweetness at it's best!
I am thrilled to death because, even though I am not taking three weeks vacation, I am taking SOME so we can go to Colorado this week and also take a mini vacay of our own. Not sure where we are going yet, but it's bound to just be relaxing and totally laid back. That is, IF we even leave! We may just lock ourselves in the house and just turn the phones off and just hang out.
The sucky part is pretty obvious, so I'm not going to go into detail.
My post title has to do with what is currently going on with one of John's soldiers that is in his team. I have been struggling this whole week and weekend trying to find the appropriate attitude and approach to the situation and I already know that my words/actions have not been 100% warranted.
Without going into inappropriate detail, the soldier is having "home" issues. When domestic issues like this arise, it is up to the soldier's NCO to get involved and keep everything civil and everyone protected, etc.
Thanks to these dramas, John has been gone pretty much this whole week commandeering this whole issue with his soldier. On Thursday which is one of our take out date nights, he didn't get home until midnight because of the drama going on over there. THEN some more stuff went down today where on OUR day off TOGETHER BEFORE HE DEPLOYS was cut short by more drama so he had to leave where we were and go take care of this dude's business.
Now, my dilemma.
John's soldier is a grown man.
Whenever John and I have had issues (NONE of which is even in same ballpark as what's going on here) we have never had to get someone else involved. We act like adults and handle our business.
Well, this guy insists on having his hand held the entire time which drags John away from home.
Yes, I am selfish.
No, I do NOT care.
My husband is about to leave for a year.
I have had extreme choice words for this soldier and at one point where I had to meet up with John while he was with him, I plainly told John that he better not be there or I was going to lay it all out for him with not shame at all.
How DARE you.
Who ARE you anyways??
I hope you are flippin having a GREAT time because now you've got me in the mix, and I can honestly be the worst temper flaring woman you will EVER meet.
I screeched into that parking lot today like a bat out of hell and as soon as this soldier saw me, he started walking away to the barracks.
He knew right.
He knew I was pissed as hell that MY husband was using up OUR Saturday holding his hand.
Before I come off as extremely over dramatic and having no compassion, believe me, this guy can't wipe his own butt without help. I am going to respect him to the point by not giving details, but seriously.
MAJOR ISSUES.
What WOULD Jesus do with someone like this??
Tonight we went to a party at John's platoon leader's house.
It was a pre-deployment platoon get together and needless to say I knew no one but most of the guys.
A weird realization for me, but it was true.
Plenty of Army wives I COULD get to know if I was 22 with a billion children.
Well, this soldier was at the party and avoided me like the plague.
That's when it hit me that this guy is going through hell right now and all I want to tell him is what a dirt bag he is for making my husband never get to come home and when he DOES come home, he has to leave to go clean up HIS mess.
How am I supposed to LOVE someone like that??
I can't say that this guy doesn't care.
He's 22 with a newborn and is completely in over his head with all this home drama.
Lord only knows that his wife has put him through the ringer once or twice.
And even more ironically, I think the steps he is taking in his home life is what he SHOULD be doing.
But is it fair that it's at the expense of me and my time with my husband that's about to leave me??
John has reminded me this whole week, "Katie, it's my job to take care of my soldier's when they need me."
But then I retort back that whenever we could have used guidance in a situation here at home no one offered to come help us!!
We've still been dealing with John's hip issue and they continue to send him jumping out of planes compromising something that is NOT healed or fixed.
They DON'T care.
So why the heck should he or I??
Why is John willing to be the leadership example in this case?
He really is just that bigger of a person than me, is the real truth.
He takes his job and position so seriously that he will spend more time helping his soldiers with what they need than helping me with what I need here at home.
It SUCKS!!!
But what sucks even more is I can't get mad at him about it!
LOL.
He's doing what he SUPPOSED to do, and who at 25 can really say that the place they are in, in their life is where they are supposed to be??
Not many, that's for sure.
So, back to my question.
I sat there tonight looking at this guy with such mixed emotions that I couldn't stand even being in the same room as him.
Part of me wanted to just walk up to him and tell him what I really thought.
But the other part of me just hurt for him and his situation.
What WOULD Jesus do???
The easy answer is that he would show compassion, but part of me thinks that he would at least understand my anger and where it was coming from and why I have it.
Jesus would understand right??
Or would He just point out how selfish I was being....
IDK.
I'd like to err on the side of the first option, but I don't know.....
Well, I vented, it's out and I am done for now!
This time next week I'll have just gotten BACK from CO so I'll have plenty of adventures to write about!!
Love all, and to some of you, see you this WEEK!! AAUUGGHH!!! :)
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